Nothing really makes sense anymore, right ? The things that used to give you joy are turning into greed machinations one by one, diminishing what little you had to put a smile on your face and made you handle this delusion which most call a "life". Hatred is the only thing that is growing in you lately, and there is little you can do to prevent it, thanks to basic human instinct which affects our whole community. Keep creating a dummy goal for yourself to push your mind and heart into moving on and being happy, to fail horribly one more time, facing the harsh reality of your worthless existence. Put this cycle in a loop and avoid the realization of just how miserable you are.