My StoryMy story? What a complicated concept to deal with when attempting to remain conscious in a world full of confusion, excitement and interesting events. But even so, in this time I continue to strive throughout the aged city streets, my soles clapping against the dense, weathered, concrete ground looking for somewhere to go but not exactly having any particular place in mind as I travel.
People pass by and ignore me, or I them, for I fear that contact with few will end up changing me, making me worse, or even better then I want to be. To become different is a greater fear then what lies beneath this cold, unstable world. Yet at the same time, I yearn for variety in my life, such a hypocritical view that I don't think will ever be understood by anyone, not even myself in times of difference and maturity.
Because of such a starvation for knowledge and difference, I continue to study. Not just words in books, or symbols of another language, or grunts of another sound, but the vast amount of information sent within a single picture. The subtle, silent beats within a song yearning to be voiced and understood. I want to know everything, and know nothing at the same time. I want to be able to go to a place, where nothing makes sense to me, and force it to reveal its secrets of its language, history and heritage.
I want to find a world where all the doors are open, rather than just those set out to you by specific choices. Such a day, sadly, will never come in my life time but at the same, I would love to reach as far down the ocean as possible, and hopefully pull up a shell resting at the bottom, tired of age and looking for a home, in which I can settle within and be content that I had made it this far.
For once I do, I will have understood everything that never made sense to me before. The life of what we have loved to explore, the people of which we love to converse, the land of which we loved to dwell, the hearts of which we loved to indulge. It will never make sense until the tired day comes, when we lie upon the floor, the bed, in the air, under the sea, within the earth, inside a vase, or where ever we choose to fall. Only then will things come to you, and only then will you truly feel the burdens of which you have left pass over you, and onto someone else who is truly needy of such thoughts.
For it allows them to strive on such a day, and leave you content knowing that your family, friends, pets, world, will be better off hopefully through your exploits to change. For they always say it only takes a single thought to change the world, and maybe it will be yours, or even mine.
I sometimes pretend to be something, something more, something else, something extraordinary when at the same time I prefer to remain on my own, to realize that pretending can only go so far and that such thoughts should remain in the world where everything is free, where no one can harm you, not even your nightmares.
Individuality, Ingenuity, Imagination, Invigoration, four words that describe just a small gist of what I have tried to offer. Whether that be on a piece of paper, or in a spontaneous action. However that may be, my actions have granted me friends that I never thought I would see, the ones who rest with me, play with me, cry with me, laugh with me, and move with me, not as a following but as a single being, each revolving around a single appendage that is the mind.
Like the intelligence fathered by impulse, or the tireless pursuit of something better and not believing that the word "No" will ever exist until I see fit. Where anything is possible. To not fear anything except for those placed before me as a thing of hindrance to my exploits, that of which being nothing. Not even untimely disappearance can keep me from achieving that of which I have set out.
Such as stated, my interests in learning the languages of both man and machine, to understand why and how instead of just what, to discover and name instead of to follow up. Just a small glance at the sun can lead to the epiphany of an age. By which I plan to invoke and spread. I don't want to be different, I just want to evoke difference.