Dont be fooled by me. Dont be fooled by the face i wear. For I wear a mask, I wear a thousand masks, masks that im afraid to take off; and none of them are me.
I give you the impression that im secure, that confidence is my name and coolness is my game, that the water's calm and im in command, and that I need no one. Dont believe me.
My surface may seem smooth... beneath I dwell in confusion, in fear, in aloneness, but I hide this. I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being exposed. Thats why I frantically create a mood to hide behind, a nonchalant sophisticated facade to shield from me the glance that knows. But such a glance is my salvation. And I know it.
So, I play my game, with a facade of assurance without, and a trembling child within. And so my life becomes a front. I only chatter to you in the suave surface tone...I tell you everything thats nothing of whats everything, of whats crying within me. For when I go into my routine do not be fooled by what im saying. Please listen carefully to what im not saying.
I dislike the superficial, phony games im playing. I'd like to be genuine and spontaneous, and me. You've got to hold out your hand even when it seems to be the last thing I seem to want or need. Only you can call me into aliveness. Each time you're kind and gentle and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, small wings, very feeble wings.
I want you to know how important you are to me, how you can be a creator of the person that is me if you choose to. But it will not be easy for you. A long canviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
The nearer you approch me the blinder I strike back. It is irrational, but despite what the books say about man, I am irrational. I fight for the very things I cry out for. But I am told that love is stronger than walls, and therein lies my hope. Please try to beat down those walls, but with gantle hands - for a child is very sensitive.
who am I. you may wonder? I am someone you know very well. I am every man and woman you meet.
And now after reading that its time for a DANCE PARTY!!!
<(^-^)> <(^-^< wink