Taoism - s**t happens.
Buddhism - If s**t happens, it isn't really s**t.
Catholicism - If s**t happens, you deserve it.
Confucianism - Confucius says, "s**t happens."
Guyanism - We are all part of the same piece of s**t.
Hinduism - This s**t has happened before
Islam - If s**t happens, it is the will of Allah.
Judaism - Why does this s**t always happen to us?
Protestantism - s**t won't happen if I work harder.
Agnosticism - What is this s**t?
Atheism - I don't believe this s**t.
Satanism - s**t spreads like fire.
Zen - What is the sound of s**t happening?