My Name is Vivian, but people call me Mozu nowadays.
I've been using Gaia for almost 10 years now, it's pretty crazy now that I think about it.
The only reason I come back now is for memories sake, more specifically my best friend who passed away recently, Devin.
I remember logging on almost every day with him, laughing and playing ZOMG, chilling in the video lounge, it was a time where nothing really mattered. We were kids having the time of our lives and looking back I would give everything just to have another day where my brother were alive and we were both on Gaia again, laughing it up at a Rally.
When he died we weren't exactly on good terms. A few years before he passed we got into a huge argument over something that doesn't even matter anymore. Our relationship never recovered. It went from daily calls and hanging out to what feels like now a dead silence in my room. The last few months of our time together we started to rekindle what we had together. he even admitted to having some sort of deeper feelings toward me.
I still remember the call I got from my mother. I had just gotten home from a graduation ceremony practice. Five more days until I graduate High School, I was ecstatic. I was ready to move on from school and really begin life.
Until I got that call. My world crashed down around me, I felt like someone ripped my heart out. My Best friend, my brother, my other half, my love. Dead.
I guess what i'm saying here is that I come back to Gaia to remember the times where he was still alive. On his profile he wrote that I was his best friend. At the time it mean a lot, but now it really means the world to me.
Devin if through some crazy way you're reading this:
I love you, you were my everything, and I know we didn't always see eye to eye on everything but I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Nothing will ever be the same now that you're gone, it feels like everything has a grey tint over it. You were the color in my eyes, the thing that kept me grounded.
I wish you told me sooner the pain you were going through
I wish that you could of stayed in the city with me
I wish i could hear your laugh one more time
I wish I could see your smile again
I wish my phone would ring one more time and I could hear your voice again.
I wish I had you back.
I love you, Devin. I miss you so much.
"When you're in a town like this all covered with smoke, you forget that there's a world outside. Nothing amazing happens here. And you get used to that, used to a world where everything is ordinary. Every day we spend here is like a whole lifetime of dying slowly. But having you here, that's how I know there really is a world outside."