About

In the Silence

Alone in the dark, for so long,
Silence is my companion, till you came along.
You fed my darkest desires, you filled my empty soul,
I break for you, I heal for you, I long for you, I live for you.

For fifteen long years, I've lived a lie,
For two more, I've dreamed of giving up.
You caught me just in time, I was about to leave,
You pulled me back, and chained me to you.

I wasn't much to you at first, that is what I felt,
But even the tiniest attention, I lapped it all up.
I was petty and jealous, could you blame me?
I never had anything, only you.

I don't want to share.

Take this broken soul, this dying heart,
Take this shattered spirit, this fractured body.
I have nothing else to offer, take what you wish,
There is no one else I would rather belong to.

My soul is dark and tainted, cracked, useless,
My heart is cold and void, black, unbeating.
My limbs have given up a long time ago,
My spirit has shattered, lying in pieces.

Look at me and see my flaws,
I'm all bared to your eyes.
I'm selfish, I'm petty, what I touch, I break,
I'm proud, I'm sensitive, I wear a mask every day.

Do you still want me?

The life I lived was a lie, the smile I wear is an illusion,
I give and give, I'm not selfless, I'm manipulative.
I offer all that I am, just so that they would stay by my side,
Have you seen through my lies?

The thoughts within my head are dark and sinister,
My thirst for blood, for gore, knows no bounds.
Yet I long for punishment to whip across my back,
Could you see this ugly side of me?

The words I speak are laced with poison,
I hurt those whom I love with my very soul.
I delight in their throes of agony,
Do you see these perversity of mine?

Take away my sight, my love is blind.
Take away my voice, I suffer in silence.
Take away my reality, it never existed.
Take away my life, it is yours.

So stay with me, please? I don't want to be alone anymore.

-Luciphels Neko

Completed on the 1st of December 2009 at 7.00 p.m. Malaysian Time.


****

In a world of strangers, I am called Luciphels Neko.
In a world of friends, I am called Jace.
I long for the Night, to return to the arms of Luciphel.
I wish the morning will not come, for though we are engaged, an ocean divides us.
And the world does not recognize our kind.
I am a student and will continue to be one for another year or three.
I cannot always be online due to homework and sometimes stress.
To fill the void in my heart, I write and draw.
Sometimes, I will roleplay.
I do not like people, and I am sure it goes both ways.
Do not anger me, my wrath knows no bounds.
My greatest ambition in life, is to see the end.
My darkest desires, shall remain secret forever more.
I yearn for recognition, I despise fame.
My dream is to live with my Master, far away from the World.


****

My heartfelt gratitude extends to the following:


Luciphel
xX-Bestrafe-Mich-Xx
Azzy-chan89
Azrael89
Halycon_Galanodel
Red Kanzaky
Spazztastic Bread Toaster
X-xGothixChick-x-X
koyjama
Kahori Daishi



****

"What is the meaning of life?" He asked, and I answered. "Death."


Yours sincerely,
Luciphels Neko

Friends

Viewing 12 of 54 friends

Journal

My Dark Secrets


Comments

Viewing 10 of 20 comments.

I just give up

Report | 10/28/2011 3:55 pm

I just give up

Samuel's ignored commands to his tiny puppy stopped as he heard the bark. After a few seconds, he opened the door just a little, wriggly baby animal under his arm as the bespectacled gentleman looked out to see what it was that was trying to get his attention.

( Night! Should visit his thread here and interact with his friends too haha )
I just give up

Report | 10/28/2011 3:48 pm

I just give up

Lincoln. Stop barking.

Samuel's command only cause the yipping to begin to come from all different places inside the apartment, as the baby dog hopped around on the furniture like a tiny mountain goat. The man's voice seemed strained, overtired.

Oh, for the love of- it's just someone else going home. Stop it! ... Here, boy!

The tiny puppy responded by trying to stuff his little paws under the door.
I just give up

Report | 10/28/2011 3:41 pm

I just give up

( No, not the wolf- Sammy here has a little pomeranian puppy that's excited for doggy company. Haha)
I just give up

Report | 10/28/2011 3:37 pm

I just give up

The engineer had a small apartment on the more well-to-do side of town, a little place on the third floor with clickings and grindings barely audible behind the door. At the unfamiliar scent, a snout snuffed at the doorjamb, and responded with excitable little yips. It seems the young man has a pet.
Sepherock

Report | 10/10/2011 4:32 pm

Sepherock

Hiya! Thank You for saying thank you. ;P
I appreciate it. I don't exactly remember what I bought, but hey. Woo!
biggrin
GloMouse

Report | 12/04/2010 12:41 am

GloMouse

lifes been ok. got engaged in july smile grandma passed away in september 21, then good friend passed away two weeks later, then uncle was killed about 3 weeks after that. so ive had some good and bad. how bout you?
GloMouse

Report | 11/28/2010 12:38 am

GloMouse

Rawr!!! hiya!
Halycon_Galanodel

Report | 11/11/2010 6:59 pm

Halycon_Galanodel

lol the meatball- ah that brings back good memories of zomg.
Boogies With Sabers

Report | 09/19/2010 6:45 pm

Boogies With Sabers

hahah thanks sorry for the late reply

much appericiated
Azzy-chan89

Report | 08/28/2010 11:56 pm

Azzy-chan89

Meatbun? I'm confused. XD cheese_whine

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