Let me introduce my bad self
Hello my name is Lori Zechlin and I am the most (drippingly sarcastically) proud daughter of Dayton, Ohio; America's Second Favorite Theocracy (some day Salt Lake City, some day). I'm angry, wear a lot of black, worship gods older than yours, and hate superheroes with the intense burning of whatever that is dangling between Gene Simmons' legs. My number one goal in life is to be homecoming queen and submit myself to unspeakable sexual horror at the hands of half the football team after smoking enough meth to kill an elephant because that is how life is lived in Dayton, Ohio; The Dialtone City.
My father is an alcoholic, my mother is a pancake-obsessed zombie, my sister is a stupid whiny brat that turned my life into a lie and wrecked the one good thing I had going for me. But hey, I get pills to make me happy like, so my life gets to be that special kind of copacetic that drips pink frosting adorned with pastel sprinkles synthesized from unicorn urine and the pineal glands of newborn kittens.
I think I may have forgotten to mention that I'm also the biggest thing to happen to magic since John I Dance With the Devil and Sleep in Doorways Constantine. I'm just so gosh darn modest that I forget that part sometimes. Giggle, snicker, fart.
My father is an alcoholic, my mother is a pancake-obsessed zombie, my sister is a stupid whiny brat that turned my life into a lie and wrecked the one good thing I had going for me. But hey, I get pills to make me happy like, so my life gets to be that special kind of copacetic that drips pink frosting adorned with pastel sprinkles synthesized from unicorn urine and the pineal glands of newborn kittens.
I think I may have forgotten to mention that I'm also the biggest thing to happen to magic since John I Dance With the Devil and Sleep in Doorways Constantine. I'm just so gosh darn modest that I forget that part sometimes. Giggle, snicker, fart.
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Only if you promise to make it loud enough for Thomas and Floyd to listen to it with you as well.
So what? maybe she's not a believer in the eternal magic of romantic waltz. We'll just have to find the perfect rythm fo-HEY! who said anything 'bout 'failure'? Have you been listening to Lawton now ?
But hey, while you eat your vegetables and don't get stabbed n' gutted, what I have to complain about?
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Hi.
*runs away*