The Soundtrack to My Brain

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Lori Zechlin

Lori Zechlin's avatar

Gender: Female

Location: Dayton, Ohio

Birthday: 06/17

Occupation: Kickass Magical Girl


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Posts per Day: 0.12

Total Posts: 578

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Let me introduce my bad self

Hello my name is Lori Zechlin and I am the most (drippingly sarcastically) proud daughter of Dayton, Ohio; America's Second Favorite Theocracy (some day Salt Lake City, some day). I'm angry, wear a lot of black, worship gods older than yours, and hate superheroes with the intense burning of whatever that is dangling between Gene Simmons' legs. My number one goal in life is to be homecoming queen and submit myself to unspeakable sexual horror at the hands of half the football team after smoking enough meth to kill an elephant because that is how life is lived in Dayton, Ohio; The Dialtone City.

My father is an alcoholic, my mother is a pancake-obsessed zombie, my sister is a stupid whiny brat that turned my life into a lie and wrecked the one good thing I had going for me. But hey, I get pills to make me happy like, so my life gets to be that special kind of copacetic that drips pink frosting adorned with pastel sprinkles synthesized from unicorn urine and the pineal glands of newborn kittens.

I think I may have forgotten to mention that I'm also the biggest thing to happen to magic since John I Dance With the Devil and Sleep in Doorways Constantine. I'm just so gosh darn modest that I forget that part sometimes. Giggle, snicker, fart.

Powers & Ablities

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Etrigan, John Constantine, Bigby Wolf
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Zatanna, The Shade, The Phantom Stranger
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Spawn, Raven, The Specter
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Scarlet Witch, Sailor Moon, Loki


View All Comments

The Banshee Beauty Report | 04/04/2011 2:34 pm
The Banshee Beauty
Hello there, Alice darling.
Scandal Savage Report | 03/27/2010 12:31 pm
Scandal Savage
How refreshing to see someone ask for things around here for a change...
Only if you promise to make it loud enough for Thomas and Floyd to listen to it with you as well.
Marksman Floyd Lawton Report | 03/26/2010 12:33 pm
Marksman Floyd Lawton
You'd have to fight it out with Ragdoll.
Marksman Floyd Lawton Report | 03/25/2010 12:52 pm
Marksman Floyd Lawton
Speak plain English, kid. I don't got the time or the patience to decipher your elaborate cultural references.
Thomas Blake Report | 01/23/2010 8:02 am
Thomas Blake
Well you've been paying attention to something after all...
So what? maybe she's not a believer in the eternal magic of romantic waltz. We'll just have to find the perfect rythm fo-HEY! who said anything 'bout 'failure'? Have you been listening to Lawton now ?
Thomas Blake Report | 01/20/2010 9:48 am
Thomas Blake
Yes I'm sure you've been losing nights of sleep trying to get it right.
But hey, while you eat your vegetables and don't get stabbed n' gutted, what I have to complain about?
Thomas Blake Report | 01/19/2010 1:18 pm
Thomas Blake
Ah. I see your little time-off hasn't made you any less delightful.
sarah rainmaker Report | 12/23/2009 1:46 am
sarah rainmaker
very nice
Roland the Templar Report | 05/21/2009 1:45 pm
Roland the Templar


*runs away*
Mr Terrance Ward Report | 01/31/2009 10:49 am
Mr Terrance Ward