>I TEND TO BE TOO NICE
i have a lot of jokes for u pplz
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This is a Filipino making a long distance call...
Operator: AT&T, How may I help you?
Pinoy: Heyloow. Ay wud like to long distans da Pilipins plis.
O: Name of the party you're calling?
P: Aybegurpardon? Can you repit it agen plis?
O: Name of the party your calling?
P: Ah, yes, tenkyu and sori. Da name of my calling is Elpidio Abanquel. Sori and tenkyu.
O: Please spell out the name of the person you're calling phonetically.
P: Yes, tenkyu. What is foneticali?
O: Please spell out the letters compromising the name a letter at a time and citing a word for each letter.
P: Ah, yes tenkyu. Da name of Elipidio Abanquel is Elpidio Abanquel. I will spell his name foneticali, Elpidio: E as in Elpidio, L as in lpidio, P as in pidio, I as in idio, D as in dio, I as in io, and O as in o.
O: Sir, can you please use English words.
P: Ah, yes, tenkyu. Abanquel: A as in Airport, B as in Because, A as in airport agen, N as in enemy, Q as in Cuba, U as in Europe, E as in important, and L as in elephant
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This is a Filipino in an American coffee shop:
Waiter: What kind of coffee would you like, regular or decaf?
Pinoy: No, Big cup!! Big cup!
W: What would you like for your brekfast?
P: Hameneggs.
W: And how do you like your eggs, sir?
P: Yes, tenkyu. I like dem beri much.
W: No sir, I mean how would you like them cooked?
P: Yes, tenkyu. I wud like dem cooked.
W: (with increasing impatience) Would you like your eggs... fried? poached? hard boiled or soft boiled?
P: (with increasing uneasiness) Yes, one fried en one hard boiled or sop boiled.
W: And what bread would you like?
P: Begurpardon?
W: What kind of bread would you like? white? rye? whole wheat? toast?
P: Pan Americano.
W: We don't have that.
P: Okey, gib me taystee.
W: We don't have that either, sir.
P: Do you heb pan de lemon or monay?
W: Sir, you are wasting my time. I shall ask for the last time, what would you like for breakfast?
P: Donut plis...
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A man wanted to by a bra for his wife but he doesn't know the size.
Salesgirl ask: " Is it as big as papaya?"
Man replied: "No"
S: "an apple"
M: "No"
S: "ahh... an egg?"
M: "YES, but fried!"
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A Filipino, a Black man, and a White guy are in a bar
having a drink, when a gorgeous woman comes up to them and says,
"Whoever can us the word 'liver' and 'cheese' in a creative sentence can date me for tonight."
So the White guy says "I love liver and cheese."
She says "That's not good enough"
The Black man says "I hate liver and cheese"
She says "That's not creative"
Finally, the Filipino says "Liver alone, cheese mine!"
"Oh! ... I'll take him..."
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SIOPOA TEST
How do you know if siopao is made out of cat, rat, or dog?
Ans: Pinch a piece of siopao and let the cat smell it. If the cat likes it... rat! If it doesn't... cat!
If it runs... dog!
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TEACHER: What is to formula to water?
ERAP: H, I, J, L, M, N, O
T: That's not what i taught you.
E: But you said the formula for water was... H to O.
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thank you for taking your time to read my jokes
P.S- Erap is the Philippines ARRESTED president and many pplz think he's stoopid
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Good.U listened.Now listen carefully.
Go to peachyrose27's profile.Its is Jeanines
Find it there with the word hair.See u l8ter Sk8ter