"So I became Lightning"

I need a new beginning; a fresh start.
But, How? How can I prevent what has already been done? I have to forget my past; if I don't it will only make matters worse. There is no way in hell I'm letting Serah see me like this. I'm suppose to be her older sister, the one she looks up to, right? If I'm not stable- there's...just no way she will be either. Even if Snow is there for her, it won't be enough.
Errr! I need to stop thinking this way; Get it together Éclair!
...Wait, that's just it...Maybe if by changing my name, I can change who I am.
At least it's a start.