~Walk Alone~~Walk Alone~
Chapter1:Childhood (i'll be leaving some actual personal information out)
How do I begin this story? ah yes, it can start with this. Things been rough from the beginning, from the time I been born to those god awful awful memories of childhood. I never liked very much things at such a young age, just thinking about it now I suppose I didn't change very much, I always been one of those types of children that would sit in the back of a room alone playing with a Gameboy while avoiding everyone else around me, ah those were the times, I always been bullied and wasn't exactly liked very much. Me being the young girl back then, I was far too much like a "tomboy" (heh that still didn't change), I would be into little toy cars rather then barbie dolls, I would rather go out to play in the dirt than to be stuck in the house clean and having to act like some "normal girl". Other girls disliked me for that, they didn't like to play with me, they never liked my looks, or how I acted, I always hated those types of girls, so I always would rather to hang out with guys if I could, the problem was my shyness. Then one day, I met a kind guy, (For information safety i'll use a fake name), His name was Eth, we had a lot of similarities. We loved games such as Sonic, Pokemon, Mario or The Legend Of Zelda, it was like a dream meant to be, well. For me. Who would of thought right? someone like me that disliked many things or people would actually be happy meeting someone like him. It was great, we hung out, went for rides, ate food together, we were never apart he even introduced me to "Anime" well I always been into it just me being naive and not knowing much I always thought they were cartoons because I always watched Naruto, Bleach, One piece, Inuyasha and Sailor Moon. Of course he told me those were also anime that's when it started to make sense to me, I felt like he was always going to be there for me, to growing together, graduating together, but at the time being I couldn't really predict much. Then one day, he was going to move away due to bullying and he was badly depressed, that's when I shut down and started to not talk to anyone, at all. I felt...betrayed...hurt and in pain, I never wanted to meet anyone else, ..I was..
Chapter2. Growing up.
Highschool? what was that like? let's find out. At the beginning of "Grade7" that was when it all began, to learning of puberty, how to dress at school properly, learning bigger things, trying to make friends. Oh the tormented times during young youth, which i'm sure we can all relate to in some form. At that age period, I always attempted to try and fit in with the crowd, those I looked up to always looked down on me, people I called friends betraying me. To the nasty rumors and deepened wounds that are now scars will always leave them terrible memories deep inside my mind. I been that one "scene" girl anyone would pick on anytime of the day, my hair was too weird, my face was ugly because I was born with a mole. Yeah, a mole who would of thought such a small thing could be big to anyone else, I guess that was their own kind of way of coping with their securities (if they even had any). I loved old school rock or metal, heck even rap for the most part, I always would relate to that genre of music whenever I was in a bad mood, that's the type of things I loved whenever I would sit back to play a game, I won't miss the detail here. Games? this was when I gotten into the first Nintendo DS, I loved games for that, it took my mind off a lot of things so I wouldn't take it out on anyone, but sadly, it didn't work. I always been easily agitated or stressed if anyone bothered me too much (eh still didn't change to be honest.) then again, who wouldn't when being pestered or anything regardless. I won't get off track. Rumors would always happen if I ever liked or dated a guy, although I wasn't allowed to, it's always been under wraps and kept within the school or my parents wouldn't really be happy, yeah they were very strict, but I respected and understood why. However, whenever I would go home crying from a bad day I would always be shut down and told to grow up. That lead me to never being open about anything because my mind set told me at the time it was a bad thing to do, it just made me feel as if I wasn't allowed to be sad, I can't talk it out, I had no one. My own family looked down at me badly, thought I would grow up to be nothing or I was a let down. Now, for the "fitting in" situation, I wasn't the best at all, to fit in I would usually steal, or give "friends" things they wanted whenever they asked just so I wouldn't lose them. I was naive to think they actually were my friends, the thought would always just...bring me to tears to a point I would hyperventilate from so much stress, I don't ever understand why I would even befriend them, I always still been bullied, to once I had a large 5 inch blade pulled out on me. Often I would used to go to the "youth group" which is young age church activities such as participating for fun games, donate, and pray for whatever bad is happening..ah the good times, we even would visit other churches ..their music was..not so bad. Until my grandmother passed away..I gave up hope then and stopped going to church so often. I always had too much on my plate..I hated school..I hated people..I only ever had grandmothers that were close or my uncle but...he..sorry I really can't say that much, it's hurtful..that thought is why I try to stay alive so I don't do to my family what he did..sadly that sadness never lasted long, as mournful anyone has been in the family, they gradually yet quickly got over it and started to forget him, i'm the only one lately that visits his and my grandmothers grave during summer time so I make sure their flowers would be safe.
Chapter3. (on hold for now)