You want to know about me? Well, let's see. I was born in a sleepy little seaside town in Ireland during a solar eclipse. This was apparently a bad omen of some sort, so I was sent to the local church to be raised. Upon my sixteenth birthday I joined the most Holy Inquisition. I rose through the ranks fairly quickly, but my career was cut short when I fell in love with a beautiful vampire. It seems that Mother Church frowns upon relationships with the undead, even one-sided ones. I say one-sided because the object of my infatuation had mistaken me for the Duke of Alva and tried to kill me. Several times. On the advice of my psychiatrist I stopped trying to confess my love. I decided a change of scenery would be a splendid idea, so, in 1647, I sailed for the New World. Humph. New World my eye! Blatant false advertising. They should have called it the 'Fixer Upper World'. I had to build my own house and everything.