Greetings, visitor! Shakespearean Squirrel here, filling in for Keynir, who was threatened until he
decided to give me, of all people, the opportunity to fill this previously-mostly-empty space and say a few things about him, seeing as he's a self-proclaimed procrastinator
busy, busy lion and hasn't yet had the time to compose something for himself.
Never fear, though, loyal fans; one day these words will have vanished and Key will have made his own, infinitely more epic introduction. The chances of this increase tenfold if you pester him about it. Without mercy. Be sure to tell him I'm evil while you're at it? Thanks in advance.
The first thing that you need to know about Keynir is that he will deny just about every complimentary word I put here. He's too modest. End of story. That said....
Keykey is a Dutchie. An amazing Dutchie. Smart and sensitive. Diligent and dashing. Kind and courteous and caring. And he sings. Beautifully. I luff him.
Because Keynir is a Dutchie, he sparkles--just like the frozen bread he enjoys so much. Don't listen to him when he tells you, insistently, that he, in fact, does not
sparkle, thank you very much, and that the bread is, in fact, not
frozen when he eats it, kthx. It's all very top-secret, hush-hush stuff. Or something like that. Moving on....
Key's minion of choice--and the creature that makes up the entirety of his minion army--is the platypus. Yes, you heard me correctly, the platypus--that duck-billed, beaver-tailed mammal that lays eggs instead of giving live birth like all the normal
mammals. Yeah, seriously badass, I know. The best part? Platypus mothers secrete milk through pores in their skin; platypus fathers can kill your dogs with their foot venom. Be afraid.
While Keynir values the platypus for its epic fighting skills, his true animal love is the lion. That's right, ladies, he's a cat person; commence fangirl screams.
Key is also a college student. Good with computers. Luffs gaming. Dislikes scammers, beggars, noobs, and trolls. You can frequently see him hanging around Demon Wings | Angel Heart Charity where his bestest Gaia buddies take glee in spoiling him rotten and dog-piling him when he least expects it.
Want to know more about this super-epic dude--and, really, why wouldn't you? Drop him a comment or a PM. Start up a conversation. Tell him you, too, like frozen bread, and he is no longer alone. Believe me, you won't regret it.
Until next time, you awesome peeps.