"I GOT STUPID VISION!"
"Do not make me throw a possum at your face."
"If you read this...you're finished reading."
"It'll be funnier than a penguin playing a banjo."
"He said: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said: You wear pants, don't you?"
"I don't need to 'get a life'. I'm a gamer. I have lots of lives."
"I'll kill him. I'll kill him dead. Like with a rock...or something."
"If I wake up with marker on my face...I'll stab you!"
"Bring out ur inner ninja."
"No, as a matter of fact, you did not do my mom last night. Thanks."
"Everytime I go to the doctors, I get a jacket. A straight one. It makes me feel special because I get to hug myself."
"I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter."
"I've got A.D.D. and magic markers. Oh the thrills I will have."
"Hi. smile I'll eat you if you make me mad."
"The greener grass on the other side is probably artificial turf."
"I am a loud man with a very large hat! This means I am in charge!"
"You are hot, sexy, and nice. Oops, sorry, wrong person."
"I dreamt of you last night... you were screaming and you had a toothpick in your eye."