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Once upon a time, there was a man named Joe. Joe was no ordinary man; Joe worked at McDonalds! Every day he got up, ate breakfast, and got on his work uniform. He was soon promoted to manager because he did such a great job flipping burgers. Then the rest of the McDonalds crew hated him because they wanted the position. After a while they got used to it. He was a great manager. He got paid very well. 50 dollars a week! But then one day Joe caught a cold. He was such a great worker, that he went to work that day, even though he felt miserable. The only problem with this was that he was sneezing a lot and getting germs everywhere. Soon the head honcho of the whole company, Ronald, came and said he was fired. Joe was heartbroken. Since he now had no job, he had to sell his house. Now Joe was homeless. Since people sometimes gave him money, he got more money then he had when he worked at McDonalds (which isn’t that hard to do). The next day, Joe stumbled upon a diamond the size of his head. He spent all the money he got from selling it on McDonalds food and is now roughly the size of a baby whale. Ever since he has been living in a cozy cardboard box with a great ocean view.
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Bob. Her parents had been drunk when they named her, so she had a kind of strange name for a woman. Anyway, Bob had a great career, a great husband (named Barbara), and was living the life of luxury. You see, Bob was a great novelist. She wrote stories left and right, and was always busy writing. She usually finished 20 novels a year. She wrote all kinds of stories, action, horror, romance, and comedy. The only problem with her life was that Bob is schizophrenic, and each of her personalities wrote different types of stories. Being schizophrenic wasn’t too bad. Until now. The part of her that wrote horror stories sometimes felt murderous, and the action-story-writing part of her always wanted action. So it didn’t want to live in a great mansion, writing stories all day. The horror and action parts of her teamed up, and sometimes when she was sleeping, took control. She didn’t even know it, but during the night, action and horror would wake her up, and take her to rob banks. Soon she was even richer, but she had no idea why! So one day she was lying in her bed, writing a story, as usual, when her husband Barbara came in and asked her why on Earth she had been getting up in the middle of the night and coming back with bags upon bags of cash. She didn’t know either, so they went to a doctor. He said that she was schizophrenic, but she already knew that. So then he told her to take some medicine to control her other personalities. She took it, and after a little while she started to only have one personality. But then another problem struck: she couldn’t write stories anymore. But this was soon to be solved when Barbara got a job as a chauffer. Since the people who he drove around were so rich, he got huge tips, and could support both him and Bob.
Once upon a time, there was a banana. His name was The Dancing Banana. The Dancing Banana was pretty much an average banana, except he was a dancing banana (obviously). He was pretty poor. He made a living by dancing on the streets. He even had a song to go with it. All he did every day was get up, dance, and go to sleep. He was very tired when he got home every day. One average day, he was having his lunch brake, when all of a sudden, God came down from the sky and said, O thou holy banana, you are hereby endowed with all my Godly powers. Then God disappeared with a slight popping sound. Fred was amazed. Here he was, drinking his soup, when God appears and gives him all his powers. He’s just and average banana, right? Well not anymore! The first thing he did was to give himself super-dancing abilities, and that anyone who watches him dance is hypnotized and gives him all their money. He was soon living in bliss. He onl