A taste for adventure!
Your name is JAKE
. You love movies. ALL MOVIES
. You would describe your taste in film as ECLECTIC
, but in truth, it isn't much less than TOTALLY INDISCRIMINATE.
You bluster frequently of exuberance for FIREARMS
, though have no human company with which to share these interests. But who needs chums, when you can enjoy a top notch gander of your GALS OF CERULEAN COMPLEXION, HUBBA HUBBA
. You're known to be found with your nose in a COMIC BOOK OR TWO
, not that it makes you a nerd or anything, like you even CARE
about that! Not a gent of your PANACHE AND SWAGGER
, qualities which you would BANDY WITH APLOMB
on your globe-spanning adventures, HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING
. You would love to travel around the world, toppling any SACRED URNS
you encountered. You'd be tickled by the opportunity to defile HALLOWED TOMBS
everywhere, raiding them of their treasures. And how you'd give your RIGHT LEG
for a shot at desecrating THE sh*t
out of some real life MYSTIC RUINS
for their byzantine wares. Luckily for your limb, there is a dandy set of such ruins nearby, and you desecrate them quite frequently! You are also troubled to contemplate FRIGHTENING FAUNA
, and plagued daily by their regrettable REALNESS ATTRIBUTE.
What else? You sure like to WRESTLE
. Did you mention FISTICUFFS
yet? You know, SCRUMS AND WHATNOT
. Also, SKULLS
. Gosh you love SKULLS
. There is a good SKULL
at the heart of any mystery, haunting its EVERY PAGE
. That is what you always say. Or at least, it is what you always HOPE
. What will you do?