Favorite quote collection
Jammin' to ZZ Top.
That's right, I like ZZ Top. Got a problem with that, mister?
"Mommy, why are your boobs droopy?"
"Because they're sad."
"Why are they sad?"
"Well honey, because no one talks to them anymore"
- (some celebrity)
Those aren't spelling errors; they're a secret code, which, if cracked, will reveal my cellphone number...
"Free speech is a bit of a trade-off: you can say what you want, but should accept the fact that no one has to listen to you or care about what you have to say."
Warning: The following post is complete nonsense
Sci/Tech: A simple question deserves a complicated answer
"Dad, if you're a cop, does that mean you shoot people?"
"Audrey, we both know your mom has taken far more shots than I ever have."
Sadly, my name really is Audy.
"Daddy, where did my name come from?"
"Oh, my first car was an Audi, so I named you after it."
-that didn't go nearly as well as my dad had anticipated. Turns out my mom named me, after Audrey Hepburn.
TOP 10 THINGS NOT WORTH MAKING (in no particular order)
-reality t.v shows
-anything by Seth McFarlan
"What's that thing poking me in the eye?... Oh, it's just your boob...WAIT, WHAT?!?!
"That's what I like about you; you just don't give a damn."
"You know, contrary to popular belief, there ARE things I care about in this world. It's what makes a person human."
"What's a "Man Hole" ?
"It's an anatomical part."
"I thought I'd be that irresponsible parent, but then I met your mother."
"That's the thing about professional relationships; it's not like you just show up for dinner."
"That's because you never invite me!"
"...I could be doable as an experiment!"
- Mistress of the Shadows