About

Hello! I'm Glark the Epic. My alter ego is the Celestial Toad, the mighty amphibian of the cosmos.

How do I sum myself up...? A difficult question. A question asked by people throughout history, by the best philosophers, artists, and writers, and even by the smelly, uneducated peasants. Why is it human nature to want to understand ourselves? After all, understanding is a heavy burden, and sometimes I'd really like to know myself less. Sometimes I'm not the best person out there. I can be rude, quick to judge, easily angered, slow to forgive, stubborn, calculatingly cruel, possessive, and jealous. Although, I have my moments. I can be kind, calm, strong, forgiving, generous, and caring. Mostly I'm some sort of crazy juxtaposition of those things.

I've been told I'm quite intelligent, especially when it comes to vocabulary. Mostly I seem to be able to remember random facts that may or may not be useful. I'm a pretty good artist, if I do say so myself, and a decent writer. I enjoy music, but I don't play an instrument, really.

When I'm on this account, I come to have fun. I come to be crazy, silly, and fancy free! FEAR THE CELESTIAL TOAD. FEAR HIM. Er, by the way, I am female in real life.

Not that it matters, really - I don't do internet dating. Hell, I don't do real life dating. Seriously, folks? I'm sixteen, straight, and I've never had a boyfriend, nor am I seeking one. According to society, this is weird. Why? What's so wrong with not being interested in pursuing a romantic relationship? It all seems so...silly. The whole high school dating thing, I mean. Ah, well. To err is human, I suppose. I'm happy being asexual, thank-you-very-much.

What else needs to be said...oh! I'm Christian, specifically Lutheran. I go to Church regularly and I try not to swear. Honestly, I hate swearing. It's so vulgar and pointless! You can easily replace such crude terms with other words without your vehemence being lost! Like, 'rutabaga.' Doesn't that sound sinister if said in a cursing tone? Huh. I don't swear, I'm a virgin, I don't drink, I don't smoke, do drugs, or gamble. And to top it off, I belong to no social clique. Yet I'm an American teenager. Take that!

Oh, yeah. I love to roleplay! Please, feel free to mail me if you're interested.
Conditions:
-Literate level only, please.
-No wolf roleplays. Ever.
-Same with wild horses.
-I will most likely NOT do a vampire roleplay. I have, on rare occasions, enjoyed a vamp/werewolf roleplay. But only if it's got a good plot...and no emo vampires. I swear, if even one is dressed from big black boots to oily black hair in ALL FRIGGIN' BLACK LEATHER, I will kill something, immortal or not.
- You know what I said about wolves and wild horses? Well, add those Warrior Cat roleplays to the list. No. I don't care about your -insert adjective here- -insert body part here- Clan. Those felines need some more creativity when it comes to naming things.
- I'm not going to bother listing my favorite genres to roleplay. Feel free to run whatever by me, and if we can work something out, great! If not, well, there's a few million other people around, right? I won't promise that I'll roleplay any genre, because I won't. But I'll definitely listen. =D

******************************

RantrantrantRAAAAAANT.
Disney is dead.

"I do not like to repeat successes; I like to go on to other things."
A quote from the man himself, Walt Disney.
Isn't it ironic? What's the latest real animated movie that was Disney's creation, not just Disney in name and created by another company? A crappy sequel? A crappier sequel to that sequel? A crappy prequel?
What the hell is wrong with this picture? What happened to the company that was based on a single, tiny animated mouse driving a river boat fueled by dreams?

The answer is bleak, dear friends. They've sold their soul. They did it without hesitation and they'd do it again if they had half a chance. Disney is dead...not just literally. If he were still alive, he'd die again out of disappointment.

I mean, seriously...a prequel for The Little Mermaid? You know, the one that already had an animated TV series as a friggin' prequel? And a crappy sequel? Why, Disney? Why? I thought you cared.
I mean, it's an abomination. Hell, the first was a bastardization of the real story anyway, but at least it was original in its own right, and a sweet, fun little family film. Now it's just sad.

...You know, in the original tale of The Little Mermaid, the sad heroine is trying to gain a soul, so that she may have an afterlife...in a way, reality has now paralleled that. A twisted, sick parallel: The Little Mermaid has lost its soul in exchange for some longevity. Instead of an afterlife, it's like a zombie or something. That's just wrong.

...THE PRINCE MARRIES A NUN AND THE MERMAID DIES HEARTBROKEN, SOULLESS, AND ALONE. SRSLY. She doesn't "trade her voice" for a spell to make her human! SHE TRADES HER TONGUE. Yup, cuts in right out. Probably had to be cauterized in order to prevent her from either bleeding to death, or bleeding so much that she instead choked on her own blood and drowned. Heh, a mermaid drowning. Haha. Hahahaha.

...But it's not all sad. She becomes a sea-foam faerie. She floats around the Earth, helping people and doing good deeds, and one day, when she does enough...she'll have earned herself her very own soul...

I say that's more beautiful than any plot involving a half mermaid spawn born of a sequel. And if that ain't child appropriate, well...LIFE AIN'T CHILD APPROPRIATE. Sure, blood and sex and cursing should be something kids learn about later in life. But methinks that, in cases like these, there's a few too many layers of bubblewrap forming this cocoon. The kid grows up being one of those idiots who enjoy crappy sequels. In fact, your kid may even grow up to make crappy sequels. Myself...

I prefer the dreams and the mouse.

Rest in peace, Walt. If you can. Rest in peace, Hans Christian Andersen. You poor poor man...

"You reach a point where you don't work for money. "
"Movies can and do have tremendous influence in shaping young lives in the realm of entertainment towards the ideals and objectives of normal adulthood."
"I only hope that we don't lose sight of one thing - that it was all started by a mouse."
"A man should never neglect his family for business."
-Walt Disney.