Huzza! OMGWTFBBQ!! I'm Ari, but my friends also call me riku or cloud. I'm actually one of the nicest guys you could meet but I have issues so I can also be hard to get along with. I just try to keep that side of me bottled up inside and so I get along with people for the most part. I don't normally say much about myself so it tends to make people think I don't like them but that's not the case. I just keep everything to myself. For once I'm gonna try and say some things about me. I like learning new things, ironically I have a lot of difficulty remaining focused more than a few seconds on one thing and require constant repetition, it's very frustrating. I always have a lot on my mind and most of it shouldn't be there, it's hard to stay positive when you're constantly fighting yourself. For a long time that side of me said, why bother working to achieve your dreams if in the end no one will be there to share in them with you. So what's the point?.. I've been thinking a lot lately, I guess now the way I see it is that it's better to build an empty world than to not build one at all. So recently I've decided to get back into web development since it's something that I enjoy, then later go into something else, I already know what that is. I've also taken an interest in photography recently so that ought to be fun! I dunno, I've been working out again, ******** everything. anyway...
I've always been very nerdy, I like all sorts of things and don't care about what people think. I like rock music, some pop, in recent years I've started listening to country as well, there are so many beautiful country songs. Actually I'll listen to just about anything even some classical music but none of that ******** annoying ghetto s**t for me. I love the outdoors, night skies in the middle of nowhere, I deeply enjoy watching or reading science stuff and everything with alternate dimensions or times and things most people don't even know about, there's more to life than simply what our senses perceive. Honestly if I could have 10 years back I would probably go into something to do with science, but I guess it's never too late right?. Even though I suck at complex math I like to do mental math. I'm a hopeless romantic when I have a girl but at the same time I'm always ready to fight when someone tries to pry us apart so I can shift to opposite sides of the spectrum in just a second. I'm extremely competitive, I like being around people but at the same time I'm a lone wolf so I'll be the person leaning somewhere listening and watching keeping my distance and only contribute when I have something meaningful to say. I hate to do what everyone else is doing and prefer to walk my own path. I don't follow, I lead. Even if it means standing alone. I'm very contradicting, I enjoy having company but when I'm working on something I prefer to do it alone. I'm a perfectionist and don't trust people sometimes to do things right so I find myself trying to do everything alone. Often I refuse help even when someone offers to give me a hand. It's like I have to prove I don't need help and can do anything myself. I feel bad sometimes because I feel so rude but I just have to do it alone. I carry so much sadness, rage and depression.. So much darkness inside so I never talk about it, sometimes someone will notice and ask "what's on your mind?.." I'll smile and shake it off and change the subject. I'm a man that is always ready to fight and refuse to back down regardless of the cost. However I always would much prefer to be at peace. I'm old fashioned in some ways. I believe in chivalry, honor, loyalty, being a gentleman, courage, and standing your ground. However I can also lighten up and it can be easy to make me laugh nonstop. Sometimes I'll remember something and laugh alone making me look like there's something wrong with me. I like Japanese gardens, cosplays and conventions, I enjoy drawing but I haven't drawn much in years. The last thing I drew was probably Kakashi in Pika's sketch book a while back, I wonder if she still has it. I love kayaking it relaxes me, bonfires, sitting by the fireplace when it's cold, hot chocolate, calming rain, thunder storms, almost got caught in a tornado recently outside Omaha, road trips, I love my Fenrir, Halloween and the whole theme along with that time of the year, I love the orange/black combination of Halloween. final fantasy 7, kingdom hearts, of course I also gotta mention Resistance online. I don't have a lot of patience and can lose it easily but I always try not to. I hate it when people try to make me guess and I'm like "get to the ******** point already!" but I think there's a good explanation behind that. I like all seasons of the year but I think I like fall a bit more. Over the years I've made plenty of mistakes that have cost me some of the most important people in my life, I'm still learning, in my case that's the hard way.. I like fun and excitement like everyone else but I also like to just sit down, look around and enjoy the moment with that someone, close my eyes and just breathe, I'm aware someday I won't be here anymore and I guess I try to absorb the moment so it's something I'll take with me. Anything else.. I'm complicated.
Just started working on this, still not at full strenght but now I'm certain I never will be. So I'll work with what remnants of strenght I have.
"So that's it huh? ...You're just going to give up and die.."