About

Enough crap, my name's not Saber, it's Sean. I'm a middle schooler who hides behind a wall of jokes and smiles. I am usually the kid who tries to make everyone's day better by telling jokes and smiling, laughing, but all that is just an act. I constantly have thoughts of suicide, slitting my wrists, hanging myself, jumping. I don't think anyone would be upset about my death, except the guys who have to scrape me off a side walk. I've cut more than once, somewhere around three and five times, two of those times were life threatening. I don't know why I saved myself, I really don't, I regret my decisions, not the decisions to cut, the ones to stop when I start. Usually my wall hides the real me, but every once and awhile my suicidial-self brakes through. It happens when I am alone with my thoughts, my thoughts of how ugly and worthless I am. I don't want anyone's pitty or apologizies, they don't have anything to be sorry for. It's me that has messed up my life, not them. The only reason I posted this is to get it off my chest, I don't want to feel like I do, typing this is taking away the pain with every letter. If you are reading this sentence, I thank you, you care about a boy who is afraid of himself, afraid of what he might do to himself, enough to read his story. Thank you.

Friends

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Comments

Viewing 10 of 20 comments.

l0kk1

Report | 12/18/2012 7:55 pm

l0kk1

haha really? ... lol redface Thank you heart
EnoughofDatNow

Report | 01/08/2012 9:46 pm

EnoughofDatNow

I cried when I read your 'About Me'. Nice avi btw
Juubei323

Report | 01/08/2012 8:32 am

Juubei323

Hey, we both cried smile
Love you, bro.
Zenovij

Report | 01/04/2012 3:10 am

Zenovij

hey ... just wanted to say i like ur avi ... but since some other ppl already said it nvm ...
X- Bipolar Penguin

Report | 12/25/2011 12:34 pm

X- Bipolar Penguin

cool avi.
(:
Chrissy J

Report | 09/17/2011 6:00 am

Chrissy J

Hey there smile
BLVCKBIRD

Report | 08/08/2011 6:09 am

BLVCKBIRD

Hey,nice avi. smile
M y s t e r ii G h o s t

Report | 06/23/2011 7:57 pm

M y s t e r ii G h o s t

I'm actually not that advanced, just a bit ahead from most of the kids in my Orchestra Class Haha xD
And Why would you have to start over? That sounds like it really sucks... I know I would be really frustrated.
M y s t e r ii G h o s t

Report | 06/23/2011 7:49 pm

M y s t e r ii G h o s t

Wow well this is interesting cause I've been playing for 3 years(almost 4) too.
I started in school but I actually progressed more quickly than most of the other students so I didn't need Private Lessons or anything like that.
M y s t e r ii G h o s t

Report | 06/23/2011 7:03 pm

M y s t e r ii G h o s t

Ahaha x) Maybe. Shhh lol.
And okiess.

Also, I've got a quick Question.
How long have you been playing on that nifty violin of yours.. cause I play one too wink

Signature

Let the pain go. Let the hurt go. Let the guilt go. What you're imagining right now, that world you control, that place can be as real as any pain.