In my own mind I come to hate my very own existence in this world. I am a worthless piece of s**t, that always depressed. For some odd reason people never like me enough to try to understand me (then again i don't really understand myself) people are either running away from me or trying to pick a fight with me. I have been through a lot growing up, things that i can't ever forget,.some things are just too painful to bring up. all my life i been hating myself and everyone around me to a point of committing suicide. I can't bare this pain and guilt any more. i constantly stare at my wall trying to forget the painful memories,but i end up falling asleep afterward, then waking up to a horrible nightmare. people reading this might think that there other people with worst problems then me, they might be right but if they went through what i went through they might understand why i am like this. i just wish that i was invisible, where everybody life would be better if im not around.