This is actually an ad for a camera on Woot.com but I thought it was REALLY funny so i copied and pasted it on my profile!
You know, when you walked through the door of my studio, I could tell you weren’t like the other burgers I photograph. You’re something special and it shows. Such poise, such grace. I’ve never seen a cheeseburger stacked quite like you in my entire career. By the time we’re done here, you’ll be the most popular menu item at the Speedy Feed. Billboards, television, web banner ads, the whole lot, all featuring your beautiful meaty face all over the world. But you have to be prepared to do whatever it takes if you want to be a drive-thru star. Can you do that? Good. That’s what Gary likes to hear.
Why don’t we go into my “special” studio? You just have a seat on the bed over there while I get my Pentax K20D 14.6MP SLR Digital Camera ready. No, no, it’s not weird. Lots of people eat fast food in bed. Just relax while I captures every facet of your glistening meats with the 14.6 megapixel CMOS sensor and Enhanced Dynamic Range. I’ve got a custom image mode courtesy of the Pentax PRIME image processing that should be just perfect.
Hmmm. Something’s missing. I need more steam, more flavor. You trust me, don’t you? I mean, I am the guy that made tomato soup famous, you know. That’s right. Let me just attach my Pentax 21717 18-55mm Lens for ideal zoom and improved resolution, and you just slide that wax paper wrapper of yours down a little. Don’t be shy, honey. Gimme a peek of that whole wheat bun of yours. Mmmm, that’s it. Juicy.
Hey, where are you going? What do you mean I’m creeping you out? I am a professional! Without me, you’ll be stuck on the dollar value menu forever, you hear me?! I’ll blacklist you so fast there’s not a size of fries in the world that will work with you by the time you hit the sidewalk! You’re ruined! RUINED!