Based on a true story.
Jan is getting home from work at about 10:30 on a Friday night. The evening is dark and there is a chill in the air. Jan’s parents have gone to a late movie and her brother Jake is at a friend’s house to spend the night. Jan has a big day ahead of her, so she decides to turn in early. Before going to sleep, she decides to eat a snack in the kitchen. As she goes down stairs, a gust of wind rustles the trees outside, and a clap of thunder is heard. A few seconds later, the lights go out and she is in complete darkness. A noise is heard in the kitchen. Jan knows that no one is home, so she freezes to get her bearings straight. Just then, another noise is heard, much louder than before. Jan knows that she isn’t alone. Jan remembers the cell-phone in her pocket – a perfect flashlight. She grabs a rocket launcher and proceeds to the kitchen. As she nudges around the corner, she sees it. A turtle. She chuckles to herself, but then discovers that the turtle also has a rocket launcher and is ready to fire. With extreme speed, Jan dives out of the way of the rocket (the rocket flies out a window) – landing near the turtle. Jan suffers a massive combo to the face – low kick, reset, high kick, and then round-the-house kick. Jan is staggered. The turtle then steals her fridge and bursts out a window. Jan recovers from the combo and blasts at the turtle with a heat-seeking rocket. The turtle sees this and quickly moves out of the way. The rocket has no time to recover and runs into the Local Library. Jan now owes $17.95, but that’s far from the point. Before Jan can call 911, she finds out that the turtle also took all the phones. (Her cell phone just happens to be out of time) Jan dashes out the house and around the block yelling, “A rocket-wielding turtle stole my fridge!” Jan is then sent to an insane asylum. After 35 minutes at the asylum, she is called to be released. Jan steps outside in astonishment to see that the same turtle she just recently fought bailed her out. Jan knows its not over.