Abouthave finally found my feelings. i have never really had emotions. i've been naught but a masque, an illusion to all who know me.
But then again, being myself, and these strange things i havent felt... in such a long time might be the biggest illusion of all. The illusion that seems to save me from the world and its insanity.
Or to be even more deep, maybe that insanity is just me, and the world is actually a normal place to be. Maybe I, within myself, am the illusion that saves me. I... might not even exist.......... this might all be a dream. ((which is illogical because my dreams always have rum. and im quite short of rum at this moment that im writing this.)) But the point still stands. Could i just be in a game, a show created by some person looking at me through a computer screen that wants nothing but my existence to give him entertainment? Or is this world real, and all its hurt? Are people really as cruel? or as loving?
Lots of things i have come to think about all spurned from one idea:
The friends you make, the loves you have, even if we struggle, we always have. even if they die, or go far away, they will always have thier arm around us. Becuase we have them in our hearts.