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Asyra04

Asyra04's avatar

Last Login: 04/03/2010 8:37 pm

Registered: 05/23/2007

Gender: Female

Birthday: 12/30/1990

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Total Posts: 485

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OK, LIst of things I like first...:
1. Reading and writing
2. Anime
3. INTERNET!
4. Shiny things (though I hate to admit it...)
5. Music (rock and roll!!!!)
-Nickelback
-Evanescence
-Linkin Park
-Hoobastank
-Crossfade
-Korn
-Adema
-Lost Prophets
-Taproot
-ANd other's if you ask...
6.Video Games (though I'm not all that good...)
7.Being random
8. When My pairings come true
-Naru/Hina
-Nami/Zolo
-Shad/Amy
-Zutara
-all others matter nothing to me...
9. the color blue (can't you tell?)

Things I hate with a passion...
1. Homework (MUST DIE!!!)
2. People I hate... (MUST BE TORTURED THEN PERISH!!!)
3. RAP!!! (OK, maybe not so much, but I really don't care for it...)
4. When people wear their pant's down to their knees...
5. Chores (must go to Hell...)
6.When people flame me (hasn't happened recently, but still...)
7. Cliffhangers...
8. Falling
9. Any pairings that aren't what I like (I'm very picky...)

A poem I just recently found... I gotta admit, it's really personal for me, despite the fact that I'm insane... twisted

Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear
for I wear a mask, a thousand masks,
masks that I'm afraid to take off,
and none of them is me.


Pretending is an art that's second nature with me,
but don't be fooled,
for God's sake don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure,
that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well
as without,
that confidence is my name and coolness my game,
that the water's calm and I'm in command
and that I need no one,
but don't believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask,
ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed.
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant sophisticated facade,
to help me pretend,
to shield me from the glance that knows.


But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only hope,
and I know it.
That is, if it's followed by acceptance,
if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It's the only thing that will assure me
of what I can't assure myself,
that I'm really worth something.
But I don't tell you this. I don't dare to, I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance,
will not be followed by love.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me,
that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing
and that you will see this and reject me.


So I play my game, my desperate pretending game,
with a facade of assurance without
and a trembling child within.
So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks,
and my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that's really nothing,
and nothing of what's everything,
of what's crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine
do not be fooled by what I'm saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying,
what I'd like to be able to say,
what for survival I need to say,
but what I can't say.


I don't like hiding.
I don't like playing superficial phony games.
I want to stop playing them.
I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me
but you've got to help me.
You've got to hold out your hand
even when that's the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes
the blank stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging,
each time you try to understand because you really care,
my heart begins to grow wings--
very small wings,
very feeble wings,
but wings!


With your power to touch me into feeling
you can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.
I want you to know how important you are to me,
how you can be a creator--an honest-to-God creator--
of the person that is me
if you choose to.
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble,
you alone can remove my mask,
you alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic,
from my lonely prison,
if you choose to.
Please choose to.


Do not pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.
A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
The nearer you approach to me
the blinder I may strike back.
It's irrational, but despite what the books say about man
often I am irrational.
I fight against the very thing I cry out for.
But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls
and in this lies my hope.
Please try to beat down those walls
with firm hands but with gentle hands
for a child is very sensitive.


Who am I, you may wonder?
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet
and I am every woman you meet

Comments

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Miss_Minda Report | 07/14/2009 11:41 am
Miss_Minda
x) lol. I like to play dressup nyu? /shrug
Miss_Minda Report | 07/14/2009 10:18 am
Miss_Minda
yup i change it like every....5-10 misn i get bored =>
Miss_Minda Report | 07/14/2009 10:07 am
Miss_Minda
aww im so sorry dearie =[! *hugs*
Miss_Minda Report | 07/14/2009 9:49 am
Miss_Minda
Will he evr call!? Stay tuned..
Miss_Minda Report | 07/13/2009 9:26 am
Miss_Minda
IDk! HOw are things.. /yawn
Miss_Minda Report | 07/12/2009 12:03 pm
Miss_Minda
MYU!!!! =) <3
Miss_Minda Report | 07/12/2009 10:36 am
Miss_Minda
no. not atm. hehe.. =p
Miss_Minda Report | 07/12/2009 10:31 am
Miss_Minda
WEEEEEEEEEEEE. sounds like great fun >-<'
Miss_Minda Report | 07/12/2009 10:26 am
Miss_Minda
ahh work. lol =P thats too bad. where you working?
Miss_Minda Report | 07/12/2009 10:23 am
Miss_Minda
im good, how are you sweetie? =)
 

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I am one of many masks. Let me suffer or save me from my perdition.... what say you?