Angelic Distortions


Last Login: 03/22/2018 9:53 pm

Registered: 06/25/2003

Gender: Female

Birthday: 03/31


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Hello all. I guess it's time I actually write in my "About Me." If you really want to get to know me, send me a message or write a comment smile There's so much more to know about me than the general information I'm going to cobble together smile
Name: Bethany
Occupation: Hmm... That's a hard one. I'm not in school (primary or secondary or college/university) nor do I have a job. I'm working on getting my life in order. I really don't know what I'd say my occupation is right now. I'll edit this if I think of a term smile
Age: 23 (almost 24)
State I currently reside in: Idaho, originally from Texas smile
Interests: Phantom of the Opera! 9 years and counting! Reading, writing, drawing, playing my recorder, watching Doctor Who, Supernatural, and a lot of Star Trek. Currently working my way through The Original Series.

Message or comment to learn more about me smile


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II Nights Embrace II Report | 12/26/2017 9:04 am
II Nights Embrace II
Hey biggrin
_Mya_Kohler_ Report | 12/20/2017 1:52 pm
Thank you! heart
Raine Dragon Report | 11/18/2017 10:26 pm
Raine Dragon
Oh, no, it's fine, not too nosy, I don't mind talking about it and absolutely you can wait until tomorrow, it's late here too. I'm actually not in pain, so that is definitely a plus. I'm just very, very tired.

So, just to give some background, I was a really hyperactive, bouncy preteen and teenager and then about 3/4 of the way through high school I just started blacking out and falling asleep all the time. I went to see some doctors and I ended up at a pediatric cardiologist who decided I had low blood pressure, and that it probably was neurally mediated (caused by my brain doing the wrong thing), but we never really tracked down what triggered it. She also thought that I probably had chronic fatigue syndrome, but there wasn't a lot of research on CFS at the time, and she couldn't get me into a study with the only doctor she knew who was taking people with CFS at all. I got put on some medicine for low blood pressure and I got better than I was, but not really well.

Now, I'm 31. I'm still on the same medicine, and I've added another medication that helped as well, but it's only treating my blood pressure, which is pretty stable now. Not perfect, but I have very few bad days related to that now as long as I take all my medicine.

But whatever my mystery other thing is, it's getting worse. And the infuriating thing is that because I've been managing it for 15 years and I've figure out how much I can and can't do without collapsing, it's very hard for me to get a doctor to listen and take me seriously. Because I go to see a doctor and I tell them I'm tired all the time and they tell me to exercise more, or sleep more, or cut caffeine. I walk into the office and I don't look bad, but what I can't seem to get them to understand is that going to that doctor's appointment and then driving to work for a half day is probably all I'll do that day. I won't do the laundry because I won't have the energy after all that. And they don't get it. They think I'm exaggerating or something. Or it's all in my head. I don't know. I just can't get anyone to take me seriously. I tell friends, and they are horrified at how little I can actually do and how long it takes me to recover after doing basic tasks, so I know it's not just in my head. (I seriously started to question it because my doctors keep ignoring it and suggesting I'm just lazy or something).

I'm going to switch general doctors again (I stopped seeing mine for a few years because he was being really rude and the last time I went to see him, he told me to see a shrink and just come to terms with the fact I was disabled. No diagnosis. Just see a shrink, quit your job and be sick in bed 24/7. My mom was with me at the time and was furious. I went to see a different person at his practice and she.... kept treating me like a drug seeker and didn't actually write me a dermatologist referral which was the reason I actually went in). I might bring my girlfriend or my mom with me to my first appointment with the new doctor or something so they can tell a story about how I tried to do a totally normal activity and wore myself out. I'm not sure what else to do. Sometimes I think about just buying medical textbooks and reading them myself. It's been 15 years, maybe before the next 15 years pass I could figure it out. But then I get tired xd

And I know this sounds super depressing and stuff, but like, I'm ok with it. I'm not like, super sad that I'm not healthy. I go through cycles of wanting to do more and wanting to get better and cycles of just being ok with everything, but I'm not like, sitting around sobbing about it or anything.I'm ok. I'll be ok. It just bugs me that I can't be more ok sometimes xd
Raine Dragon Report | 11/18/2017 9:14 pm
Raine Dragon
Hello! I'm doing ok. I have a full time job as a web developer at a college, which I enjoy a lot. Back when I started Celainia, I was in college and while I didn't have a ton of free time, I had enough that I could devote some time to side programming work and art work. But now, I program all day at work, and so by the time I get home I'm not only physically tired because of my health condition, I'm mentally tired and I want to do something other than more coding. I loved Celainia, and it still holds a special place in my heart, but I also know that if I were to start the site back up, I would end up pushing myself too hard and making myself worse. I already struggle to just get basic daily tasks done, unfortunately, and celainia was like a second full time job. I'm not really getting any better, unfortunately, so I probably won't ever reach a point where I could bring Celainia back. Sometimes I turn over ideas in my head but... at the end of the day, I have to be realistic about my energy levels and the unfortunate fact of the matter is that I just don't have the energy to do it. There are all sorts of other cool things that other people are making though, so these days I just let myself enjoy other things instead. ^_^

Bleh, that sounded so depressing! I'm sorry! On the upside, I've gotten better at knowing my limits and not letting myself take on too much, so it's far less common for me to just collapse. I have two sweet little cats now, and I just bought a cute little town house where I live with my girlfriend. Even though I can't do as much as other people, or as much as I wish I could, I'm happy. My little cats are the sunshine in my life and I adore them. They also make very sweet, if somewhat useless, nurses; they plant themselves next to me and purr anytime I'm feeling unwell.
TeaMelodi Report | 11/16/2017 6:18 pm
Awww. Yeah I don't have one either, I had to beg my brother to borrow his sweatdrop
Cat Cream Report | 11/12/2017 8:19 pm
Cat Cream
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Aww it's fine, don't even worry about that emotion_sweatdrop

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Sadistic Crow Report | 11/12/2017 7:52 pm
Sadistic Crow
It's all good.
Sadistic Crow Report | 11/12/2017 7:49 pm
Sadistic Crow
Lol it was a joke due to similar hair and face choices.
Sadistic Crow Report | 11/12/2017 7:45 pm
Sadistic Crow
You remind me of someone lmfao.
PookieChips Report | 11/11/2017 5:32 pm
thnkyou fr the purchase!


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