Hey motherf*ckers. Ever get that feeling you're being watched, and the person watching you is a total dickwagon who knows everything about your insecurities and brings out the inner asshat in you? No?
If you have, the dickwagon watching you is me. The most important thing you'll come to realize if you ever speak with me is that I don't really give a flying f*ck. Have I offended you? Well that doesn't matter to me. One day i'm going to rule the universe, set forth labor camps and trample on the face of any notion of God. Guess how important I think you
The entire Gaian community is about a fifth the size of my ego, which is only rivaled by the power of 'The Man.' We got into a fight once and the sheer awesomeness of the event ripped a hole in the very fabric of time and space, but I still c*nt punted his bureaucratic ass back to an office job where he could hide from the future King of Everything that is myself.
A few other (though no less important) things you must know are that I am not a fan of emotes, and I can't see them. I enjoy the forums. I don't enjoy text type. I've been told I give good advice. I don't put up with bullsh*t. I f*cking loathe
small children. There may or may not be a few other things that slipped my mind, because when you're as awesome as I am, how can you summarize yourself in a few short paragraphs? Not that anyone will ever be quite as awesome as I am.