Apathy is the New Giving a s**t. Problem is, I Don't.

We indie-kids are a terribly pretentious bunch.

I'm sure you've heard the stories. Masochistic boys judging cafes by the rudeness of the baristas. Mainstream musicians are sellouts, regardless of what they've done. Liking any Green Day song is instant ground to be mocked relentlessly.

We flaunt our indie-cocks. We brag about what shows we've seen, when we saw them. "I saw Built to Spill back when they first started. I hated the Mars Volta back when they were At the Drive-In. I liked the Shins before Garden State came out."

We're elitist, hipster snobs. And everyone wants to be us.

Geeks want to wear the lame-a** clothing with lame-a** slogans. Punk boys want to look this good in their ex-girlfriend's pants. Sorostitute's latch on to our trends and start following them as soon as we cast them off. We had our iPods when you got that new sound system in your car.

But let's face it, everyone fails. The geeks, the punks, the sorority girls, they're all poseurs. That goth-wannabe down in Hot Topic currently sporting a trucker's hat that says "Irony" on it? Poseur. That kid down at GAP buying the white belt? Poseur. Wearing studs? Poseur. Shopping at Pac-Sun? Poseur.

******** the poseurs. ******** the geeks, the punks, the sorostitutes, all of them.

But ******** us too.

******** pretension. ******** elitism. ******** p***s envy.

******** clove cigarettes. ******** pot. ******** cheap whiskey.

******** me if you're wearing coke-bottle glasses and tacky sweaters.

******** going to concerts and filling up the sides. ******** sitting down and mocking all the punk-kids in the middle, moshing and bouncing and having fun. Those kids are dancing. They're enjoying themselves. They're showing the band how much they like them.

But us? We sit back with our arms crossed, always judging. We buy the bands t-shirts, but never wear them to that bands' shows. Show support for Ben only if Conor's around. One only Saves the Day if it's Thursday.

Ted Leo and the Pharmacists puts on an awesome show. Full of energy, you can hardly help but bounce up and down. You can't fight the urge to bob your head like some athlete figurine in a semi on I-95.

Unless you're an indie-kid.

"Look at those punk kids. Look at them dancing. Look at the head. They look so stupid. How lame.

What's wrong with him? He having a seizure?

Why does he keep throwing his hands in the air? Is he actually throwing up the horns? Who does that anymore?"

I'm no different. I mocked a lot of the people at the show tonight. Like that guy who was really getting into the opening band--a band which was proof that fans of Dave Mathews, Garth Brooks, and generic punk rawk should never get together. His head was going all over the place. He was dancing. It was pathetic.

Ted Leo came on? I was the same way he was.

I'm aware of the things that I do. I don't mind if you mock me--frankly, I don't give a ******** about your opinion. If I want to look stupid, I'll look stupid.

I danced. I got mocked. I kept dancing.

Hey, indie-kids? Let's stop taking ourselves so seriously. Otherwise, no one else will.