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	missing journal entry
	missing journal entry


ayo yesterday's journal entry disappeared into the void? also reminding myself to change the music to this at some point: https://youtu.be/OHxpIqpAjz0 how is everyone today? i dont know if ppl still read these journals i have no ****** clue what life is anymore i just roll with it i got this i dunno "Ah, that's apples, mate." OnyxNeo** · Thu Feb 25, 2021 @ 04:22pm · 0 Comments

	chronic skittles addiction
	chronic skittles addiction


mate i just need ****** skittles god **** dammit i dunno how im gonna do this bloody test i know i can do it im just feeling like st right i dont know what the ****** im supposed to do i have a handful of skittles daily and i got all this bloody late work and i wont relax until march and even then ill have all this useless st to fill in to keep my grades up i only got a month left and then the home stretch and ****** exams and **** its so late and i have to stay up doing this st somehow ****** **** **** **** **** "Ah, that's apples, mate." OnyxNeo** · Wed Feb 24, 2021 @ 03:58am · 0 Comments

	rant 2/22/2021 10:13 PM
	rant 2/22/2021 10:13 PM


i hope my mom falls and hurts her back so bad that she can't get up for a month and my dad gets hurt and can't get out of bed i genuinely hope my mom gets a ****** cancer that gets cured but makes her unable to live without constant physical pain and i hope the doctors say she'll be fine so she'll have to live with it and can't even be put down all anyone's done this past month is piss me off over and over im hoping my mom burns her hand on the stove right now and it ends up being so bad that she can't even cook i hope she trips down the stairs and can't scream because of the pain i hope my dad **** cries again people don't feel safe when they see their parents cry but for me it's amazing especially when im the reason why once i get out to college ill only interract with them when i need to send them money **** bh i hope she calls out for me in the hospital in 40 years and realizes that i don't give a st about her i hope they accidentally hurt me so they live thinking that they're st i need to break something so bad i wanna hurt someone strangle them choke the living st out of them make them suffer break something really really fragile without feeling regret i cant even stand up the urge to destroy is just "Ah, that's apples, mate."* OnyxNeo · Tue Feb 23, 2021 @ 03:22am · 0 Comments

	I can do it...?
	I can do it...?


i feel kinda weird like everything's gonna be alright and that i can do it and that i can really get my grades up and be the best me and that's a good thing i just haven't had the proper confidence in myself since three years ago when i basically got a whiplash from everything that happened i mean im in a good position now i just have to work on mental strength but if there's anything i want it's someone to talk to that i can really talk to not my parents or relatives or teachers or counselors or psychologists not even my friends to a certain extent i need someone i can really vent to someone who doesn't have to present a solution to be helpful to me someone that doesn't nag me or give me phony solutions or let my words go through one ear and come out the other that's near impossible the only person i can think of lives far away from me and i don't know how well they'd be able to help at this point i need to talk to someone who actually knows what i've gone through someone whose experienced the same thing with similar extremes someone that understands what it's like to doubt your own intelligence even when everyone around you, people that happen to be way smarter and more experienced than you, claim that you' really are above average i just need to prove it to myself and get my confidence back and it's not just one thing that's gonna do it not even meditation or exercise or taekwondo can help im just searching now the end of the year is approaching fast and i have to do something before then the test im moving to august is going to determine my life at this point "Ah, that's apples, mate." OnyxNeo · Mon Feb 22, 2021 @ 05:29pm · 0 Comments

	Quitting Roblox Soon
	Quitting Roblox Soon


it just isn't the same anymore everything went downhill after they removed tix rthro is a fcking curse the games get more cringe and boring each day i wanna gouge my eyes out roblox just isn't as funny as it used to be i miss 2016 and prior roblox im only logging on for the valve games and to flex my houses in other games and they're removing the iconic oof death sound due to copyright at this point all i'll have left is tf2 not that im complaining i fcking love tf2 if you didn't get that already i also like halo, doom, metal gear, and a few other series now i can't believe how much my maturity and taste in fandoms has evolved since 2013 "Ah, that's apples, mate." OnyxNeo · Sun Feb 21, 2021 @ 05:47pm · 0 Comments


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