Sighs so I found I still have alot of unresolved issues and it's still affecting me I just I really thought I was better. I know I still have alot of issues with my family and I know my siblings have disowned me as of recently. It just really sucks because it's not fair to my neices and nephews but luckly they know I love them no matter what at least I hope they do. I know I left a long first page and I'll try to keep them shorter from now on. Sometimes I just ramble on and on then the next thing I know it's a full page. If no one reads any of this it's ok because I think this is more for me than anything I realize that now.