so this morning i got the news that she was still alive
i was so happy

but now everything is off
it suddenly feels like im being ignored

my friend is really hurt but he suddenly just stopped talking to me about it
he said hes probably just tired or still in emotional pain
and now he sounds really hurt and i want to help him but
its like he doesnt want my help
it feels like im just being a burden to him
but i really want him to know that i care about him

im so stressed that i cant even eat
i seriously have just been starving myself
its not like im doing it on purpose but
its just this sick feeling i have where i feel like im just going to vomit anything i eat
that sick feeling is probably made up of all my mixed up emotions

i cant even understand myself anymore

just yesterday morning everyone was all happy and smiling but now
everything just went to hell

so i got the news that she was alive but what my friends saying right now
its just really confusing
i dont get it
is she really alive

right now it sounds like shes gone
hes saying things like "bring her back"
im not even sure who he's talking about

if its the same girl
i swear if its the exact girl from yesterday
im going to lose it

it looked like she overdosed on something last night
what if it just got to her

im so sorry
i cant even live like this anymore
i shouldve never met him
this is just driving me insane

it feels like we never even met in the first place