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A small feeling of sadness pierced through my heart as she logged off from Skype. True i'd see her the next day but, it's probably just gonna end like every other day; that I wouldn't be able to call her mine. How did this happen? I don't know. I was getting attracted to a close friend of mine, and this attraction was growing stronger by the day as Valentines Day loomed closer. Of course for all I know, this attraction was only one way, and that she probably still would only think of me as a close friend. I'm a kind of guy that tries to think logically....well i might put some emphasis on the word try because this isn't the 1st time this has happened to me. I don't fall for a girl easily but whenever i do, it always turns out to be someone that I've known for quite sometime. And that's the danger part. When you fall for a friend, you always fear the dreaded friendship card. "I only just see you as a good friend, that's all". I mean seriously why do girls do that? Maybe I'm just over thinking this.
Still that's the situation I'm in once again. Apparently I'm attracted to a close and dear friend of mine. Reason for attraction? hmm...lemme see if I'd be able to explain it. For the most part, I just thought that we'd be a great couple together. She's one of the few people in the world I'm fully able to open myself up to and she's been there for me during my hard times and I've tried to return the favor. We have alot of common interests. I know those are signs of a good friendship. But yeah, I can't explain why and when I started getting attracted to her.
I don't know. Am I over-stepping some forbidden boundary by liking her romantically? I get a small feeling that I am. What do I do? I don't know either. Ok lemme tell you a bit about her though. She's officially single; she had called it off with her boyfriend a few weeks back. Both her and I have a knack for falling for the wrong kind of people, but she's supported me through it all, all the way to end of those relationships and moving on. I've tried to lend a ear to her thoughts and worries whenever she faced trouble in her relationship, tried to keep her happy when things weren't going smooth for her. And I've also helped her deal with guy issues she had. Of course. then I only thought of her as a close friend, and I was going through my own love life blues as well. Coming to think of it, i guess my feelings for her started changing after she declared her self single.
It's probably just the Valentines Day feeling that's putting a pressure on me.to find someone to celebrate the day with. On top of that it wasn't long before that I had feelings for another girl, who eventually rejected me to get together with another guy, leaving me heartbroken. While i was trying to move on, it was still a work in progress. I didn't want my friend to be a recipient of a rebound relationship. Also it was way too soon to do anything. I mean we're both just freshly uncommitted people.
I don't know. I'm just probably gonna fight this off and wait for Valentines day to pass. Maybe the feelings will die out by then....
"What do you care what other people think?" R.P. Feynman
The extent of property damage in the Seretei is too damn high!
