I think its time I let yall know how I feel about my eye… well more about what happen then the eye itself. I f*cking hate it! Is actually an understatement of how I feel. I stressed and worry all the time now. I mean I just went to f*cking sleep and woke up like this. WHAT THE f*ck IS THAT!? I had a stroke in my sleep! I mean what if I were to go to sleep and not wake up because it happen again? They told me I’m lucky to be a live and I know I am and am thankful for it…. But it still freaks me out because I didn’t do anything! I still worry about it, probably why I need more help to sleep now than ever before. The worst part is feeling like no one understands… I feel like I can’t open up to people either by fear of misunderstanding (which I am most of the time) or fear of being called a coward or whiney. (That’s how you spell it right?) I get angry and frustrated and pushed people away because of it. Im easily anger and emotional now and I don’t even know if I’m still me. That’s what freaks me out the most is I feel so different since the hospital. Between my stroke and the chemical imbalance in my head due to lack of medicine… I don’t even know if I’m still f*cking me or if I’m someone else now. I’ve been racking my head with this sh*t for almost a year now and its driving me crazy. I don’t know what to do but I want to get better I know that. Its not fair for my friends and family.. I want help… I need help…Thank you for taking the time to read this.