So I have been home for a while now. About 20 days and I have been thinking. So many thing don't add up. So many things just hurt. Was my travels all for naught? While I was there I was happy. Or so I thought. Looking back days passed as I was in a hotel alone maybe seeing her for an hour. There were so many things we could have done places we could have gone. But yet the only thing we truly did was go to one fancy dinner and hang out. Never any sweet dates. Then when there were chances to meet her friends or be seen in public with her I was left at the hotel alone. Then when I had to leave she gave me a letter and said not to open it and lied that things happened so I couldn't meet her friends. Then when I read the letter it said she went out to eat after I left. So basically I am alone. I should have known it would never have worked. I was a fool to have ever felt love. Maybe what she said was true when she said she loved me. But apart of me feels as if it was all a show. She won't tell her parents or her friends. No one is to know of me. Perhaps instead of trying to find love and spark the passion we once had I should leave. I was once use to being alone. She will find someone else. Or perhaps she already has someone. Though it breaks my heart I will never wish her ill will. As I said while I was there. I hope she find happiness even if it is in the arms of another. I shall into the background. The memories shall fade away till nothing of me is left. Perhaps that is for the best. For me to stop existing and if only I could erase that I was ever here in the first place. So any would be better off. All I bring is misery and that is all I shall ever find. For now I shall take off and put away all that once bound me to this world. I will wait at the edge of the abyss and decide if it is my time soon enough. Perhaps I shall come back to this world some day if the gods have not given up on me. Or maybe they Will have mercy and unmade the mistake they had made and release me from existance.