"When you feel defeated and that things continue to get worse in your live, how do you continue to hold on?"
This was a question that a user on here had asked me because they stated that they have read some of my journals and wanted to get my advice on something. I would like to say that I appreciated this person reaching out to ask me this because it lets me know that someone is out there reading and has an interest in my writing. There have been times were I have been feeling down and defeated myself. I used to think to myself at times, things would be better if I was not around anymore. But than I began to think this might be the only solution that was good for myself and not for the people around that love and care about me. I didn't want to keep thinkin selfly like this. I knew that thinking about not being alive anymore was a good option because this is something that I could not do to my family and friends that cared about me. I can't speak for other people who have done this and/or have actually followed through with it. I don't know their stories but I am only speaking for me. Over time as things began to get harder and harder for me, I didn't know how to remain positive about anything. What later brought me out of this funk was just simply talking out my issues to my family and friends that would understand but at the time I didn't think they would because I didn't want come off as weak. My family told me that it is normal to feel down and sad about things sometimes and that they were happy that I came to them to talk about how I was feeling and they were able to help make me feel better. I also felt like I didn't have many understanding friends that would understand my situation as well. It would seem like from them that I was being too dramatic or they would laugh it off. When my friends were going through somewhat of the same things were they wanted to kill themselves, I tried to be there for them and got pushed away and they would talk crap because I cared about them too much to see them die. I just hope that the people they are surrounded by now can help them out if they want to do things like this again. As time continued to move on, I met new people that I can call real friends and helped to look at life in a different way and brought more positivity in my life and I am thankful for this. So to the advice I have for the user that asked me I stay strong during hard times, my advice is always try to stay positive. It is going to seem impossible to do this but when you try to surround yourself with people that love you, they may be able to help more than what you think and can also try to get you the help that you need if they are not able to help. Just remember not to have a permanent decision for the temporary problem. Things will get better and things will change for the better as time goes on if you allow it to. Keep a positive support system and don't be afraid to speak up.
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