If things are for a premeditated reason, it's not proven and lacking faith, i am living operating that things are not for a premeditated reason

Raised on some kinda laze christianity with a year in christian school, small ver. tried to be good and devout and take it seriously and often succeeded. At that one time, we lost or abandoned faith and planned, in drama, to scrap everything related: holidays, expressions, the like. We ended up scrapping that drama and still say omg. For a few months here in the present, have been postulating seriously again separating self from remnants of old faith on the grounds that they are bemusing.

At any and/or every time, we would consider god/a god, to be referred to as god here. This is...(because god) I should (because god) Why (god) In the background, this was. And it was also keeping us company. But, to be realistic and more ourself, let's not do this thing that we don't believe in, that is a leftover/a habit, and may be distracting from what we want/do believe in.

lost train of thought


Had resolved to not update Android phone software because was sure the update would be hideous; because the software would update automatically, totally impossible to prevent, when connected to wifi, had resolved to never again connect phone to wifi. Was going fine. But it happened that apps could not download or update and this interfered with Pokemon.... for the Pokemon, for quick decisions, we connected and updated the software and it is deeply hideous, totally gruesome, very disgusting. Not doing it. Planned to quit and go back to flips. Research research. We can buy maps and learn streets... But oh the luxury of wanting to go to a specific establishment that's not on a printable road map, while out, and being able to search its location. Driving around looking...unacceptable, the environment. We looked at bikes. ..Be realistic after researching that...

It's become that so much in my life is trying to create barriers/get away from things that are bothersome... And we're collecting things we like and believe in and that are positively stimulating and/or comforting to support us, and then the plan will be to put our sufficient self to work for others. Alright but can we get past that first phase? Won't there continuously be things that we "can't stand?" Should we more accepting and not react so passionately to things we don't like? But...that may be giving in and we should stand up... But running off isn't "standing up" Android won't notice if we bail... Always, we're...sloth

Titled for human nature but this is a little more personal, weee are like this, a little uniquely. Aim to be less slothlike. Cook. Exercise. Or die.

Postulate. Dying because lazy.

Well we a r e. It worked out like this, we did it like this, and we regret nothing. Regretting is dumb. We would not regret on principle if that was required, but we do not even ever have the slightest visceral temptation of regret, it is dumb, it does not occur, it does not occur. (Oh should it? Think later)

It could've been this.. We could've been.. Wasn't, aren't, didn't.... Could still be....but don't wanna. I wanna die. I wanna...see Terra. Not this Android update. Which is more powerful? answer it/ you don't know, right? how could we? can we? think later

how to tell a thing...observe its effects if you can't tell from just looking at the thing. am living, which is to Terra. but living is precedence, inertia, pressure, fear. or desire, secret desire? rude. that's the other stuff. dying what is dying what is...hm don't know that either uh?

Do you want to be someone who cooks vegetables, washes the dishes quickly because otherwise there's too many, and goes to the gym? ...sure. alright, you can ask for help with that. gogo