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<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/Vice_Master04/logo.jpg" alt="Just a thought...">

Community Member
Wow. That's the only word that describes it.
One would assume that in order to get a job, you first need to learn to read numbers and letters that when magically put together form these things I like to call...


Everybody is probably wondering what I'm talking about at this point so I'll fill you in.

I got a call from my mom saying how she's going to upgrade all our phones and how she has this new black one picked out for me. In order for her to get it she needed to cancel my current one. I thought "Okay, I don't use it that much anyway." Big mistake. It seems for some reason that whenever you don't have something you need it the most. Like on monday. About 5 o clock at night I was lost somewhere near Downtown Chicago (A place I have never visited yet) and being able to call one of my friends to get directions. Well, found my way out of that prediciment.

Putting in the tracking number I see that it has finally gotten to Glendale Heights, and that it is supposed to be delivered today. I listened to the mail person come, open the box and put something in then close it. I went out and checked only to find:


An empty mailbox.

That was at about 10:30 in the morning. So I get done at school and head to the post office to pick it up, because for some reason it wasn't delivered to me. After 10 minutes of waiting the lady comes back with a sheet of paper. Then proceeds to tell me that it's "with the carrier and they probably missed you."

"I was home and listened to them drop off the mail." I replied

Well then she says: "Well let me give you this card and we'll wright down you address. What's your phone number?"

I just straight out told her, "That is my phone, that package is my phone that I've been waiting all week for."

"You don't have another kind of phone?" she asks.

(Now in all honesty what kind of stupid a** question is that? Obviously I wouldn't be so worked up about it if "I had another phone." wink
Stupid times must call for stupid questions.

"No." I replied. "Obviously something needs to be done because this isn't the first time this has happened to me"

So I storm out and decided to hang out at my apartment and see if the dumbass finds it and brings it back.

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How many people can you find working?

Alright... being serious for a moment. Maybe
True it's been a while since I wrote in this, but I got a good reason why...

Well, no I don't. I was being lazy and Gaia was getting a bit boring since my favorite thread got moved.

Things that happened to me in the last few months...

Did over 10,000 dollars damage to my Trans Am

So I was sliding around the corner on new tires and the caught and slammed
me into a fire hydrant. Got a $70 dollar ticket for "failure to reduce speed to
avoid an accident" Lame s**t. As if totalling my car and picking up the pieces
isn't bad enough I got a ticket for it. Anyway the fire hydrant wound up to be
about $3,000 and I didn't even get to keep the old one. It didn't even shoot
water out of the ground. Very disappointing.

Lesson: Trans Ams DON'T drift well

Got myself a newer nicer car. A '92 Camaro with a 5 speed manual and t-tops. Jet Black. Recently I just aquired a FREE engine to build up and stick into it. I want around 300-500 Horsepower. I'm also gonna get some flames painted on the front end too.

What else... Hmm... Nothing really else for the moment. I'll have some pics of the car when it's painted with in the next couple months.

Other than that, no real interesting things goin on here. My life has been kinda mellow for a bit. Hope it changes neutral

Community Member

Community Member
Okay... so it's been a while since typing anything. Sorry, whatever, I haven't had anything to talk about. (until today obviously)

Had a wonderfully short three day weekend only to go back to school to find...


Now since I'm attending a college about "Automotive Related Topics" one would a**ume somebody would know something about cars. Oh, I couldn't be further from the truth.

Now, to fully comprehend this you need back story.

Ninjaboy is finally out of my class for failing. But one "mentally challanged" individual is still with our class. Jones. At first look, one would feel sorry for Jones, being exiled from lab groups for incompitence. Until you listen to him for at most 10 seconds. Raising his hand during a test he asks a question about the question: Will overcharging a battery shorten it's life? Now I'm not sure about you, but I think it pretty much explains it's self. Anywho, the teacher responds with pretty much the blunt answer for the question "Weeellll, I know overcharging a battery would cause it to blow up." [/with southern accent] And he still managed to get that wrong some way. confused

But that is nothing compared to today.

Today he came up to our group of people and just started a random conversation about cars that drive with joysticks and have no steering wheel. We all just kinda went along with it spouting out complete bull s**t. Saying the joystick was filled with liquid hydrogen, there was a special code to start it (the master contra code lmao) and that the cars would not be called "cars" anymore, but would be called "Turbo Incapulators" Well, he decided to ask the teacher about it and he just laughed at him and his stupidity.

I swear, if stupidity caused cancer... Everybody around me would be terminal. gonk

Car Salesmen are Jerks
It's true, I just proved it.

About a year ago, in Minnesota, I was sick of the nasty rusty piece I was driving, so I went to look at a car similar to the one I'm driving now. Only with T-tops and about 3,000 more dollars. I go in and ask about having a look at it. The first thing the guy asks me (even before knowing what car I wanted to see) was "How do you plan to pay for this?" I just look at him and say

With money of course...

He just shrugs

Just now, not even 20 minutes ago, I have happened on the same situation. Two states over I might add. I walk in and say, "I'd like to take a look at that GTA on the end"
Then the salesman and I got into a 5 minute discussion verifing that I'm over the age of 18 and financially secure enough to own a car like this:
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Oh look, that's my shadow^
So he hands me the keys and says to go start it up. After about 25 seconds I've had enough. The car may have looked exactly like mine but it didn't feel like mine. So I go back up to him and hand him the key and say "thanks" He looks at the keys then at me and says "what's wrong?"
"It just doesn't feel right"
Then he got all protective about it
"What do you mean it doesn't feel right"
"It doesn't feel even remotely close to how powerful mine is, and mine shakes less"

I then walk away cause he walked inside and then he runs out to yell "thank you" in a pissed off tone.

Then I come rolling around the corner in my GTA and let my pipes roar just to see him go "Oh..."

Maybe that's why I only got 2 cars, I just don't like to deal with jerks who are attempting to sell the ones I like.

My Solution: Ebay

Community Member

Community Member
It has come to my conclusion that:
About 73% of the kids that go to my school are one or more of the following things:

1. Cracked up on drugs
2. Stupid
3. Just plain retarded

All things showing, they are still horrible liars. As for those who do not know, I go to an automotive college called UTI. It's somewhere near Chicago, but anyway, back to the subject at hand.


There is this kid in my class that lives in Rockford, IL and from the rumors that I hear, Rockford is kinda "Illinois' Drug Capital" The way this kid acts, I believe it. Sitting in class one day, some kids start talking to him, and all of a sudden I hear "Yea, I'm a ninja" Not in one of those "Not really, I'm just screwing with you" tones, this kid thinks he's a real deal ninja. I start laughing my a** off. He turns to me and says "What's so funny? I've been training for years!" Between the tears of laughter I manage to spit out "You're ******** stupid, you are like 18." For some reason, Barry the Ninja just doesn't sound good. Then he got pissed and stormed out of the classroom attempting to punch the door open on the way out. At this point the whole table is laughing at ninja kid because of the many many stupid things that he has said before. Here is a short list:

I can stop bullets.
Yea, I could kill a lion with my bare hands.
Can you not see? Are your eyes too weak?
I'm smarter than all of you, I live with my parents.
Why would you go to a doctor? I know more than any of those people.
I think it would be fun to fight a dinosaur!
and many many more....

And when I thought I was rid of this kid, he winds up in the next class I'm taking. Oh boy, I just can't wait for him to run around the shop with a pair of wrenches pretending to be a ninja confused

I have come to fix your car!
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Somebody PLEASE drug test this kid! gonk

Ah... sorry to everyone for the long lack of stories. My life seems to be stuck in a repetitive cycle of school, work and sleep. Still not much to tell about, so here is a little cartoon decribing what I do for $8.50 an hour.

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*Also, I think it can be concluded that the pr0n fairy moved. sad

Community Member

Community Member
Return to the land of the Assholes!
This last weekend I drove back up to Minnesota from Illinois. I left right after work which was about 9:30pm. I wasn't planned to get into MN by at least 4am. So, I drove for about 3 hours and decided to take a nap. Stopped, took an hour nap, talked with some people on the phone and took off. Passing the Wisconsin border, of course I didn't slow down. One thing that I've learned from Chicago is nobody ever... EVER drives the speed limit. Or even 5 over for that matter. Well it gets to be about 3:20am and I'm pretty exausted. I'm going 80mph and am the only person on the road. I fly over the hill and what do I see?

Yep, you probably guessed it. Wisconsin state trooper.

My foot hit the brake instantly. He began to follow me and gauge my speed at the time (70mph) Then I saw these:
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Oh yea! [/sarcasm]

So I pull over and get out my license and insurance and start to roll down my window.

Falls down and looks like a shark fin. In the process, hits my rain guard and shatters it. So he walks over to the passanger side.

Super Trooper: You were goin a little fast there...
Me: Sorry, I'm having trouble paying 100% attention at this time of day. I'm trying to get up to Minnesota by sunrise
S.T.: *takes papers and goes to car*
*comes back*
well, I'm gonna give you a written warning... what's the speed limit in Wisconsin?

Me: *minute pause* Um.... Sixty five?
S.T.: Okay, here you go... You can throw that away now

Okay, you would think he would stop there and let me be on my merry way? Oh hell no...

Oh... and you need to fix your driver's window, your windshield (small crack on the passanger side not obstructing view) and your exaust.
Me: What's wrong with my exaust?
S.T. sad in the middle of the interstate) It's too loud, sounds like you have a cracked manifold
Me: (currently is attending college to be an automotive technician) Oh really? Well, I'm not going to fix any of that stuff cause I'll junk the car before I'll fix it. I buy gas, oil and antifreeze.
S.T.: Okay, well you have a good night.

Needless to say....
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Enjoy your stay! surprised

Vice's Funny Pics of the Moment
This is what happens when you go 30mph over a speed bump by my apartment....

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Makes me all warm inside just watchin him fix it in the rain biggrin


Community Member

Community Member
The Porn Fairy
As certain people may already know, I've been getting free porn. And it's not even on the internet. However this entry is for those that don't know.

Granted I have been living in this apartment for about two months now, I really haven't met anyone that lives here. I've never even went up the second flight of stairs. I just go from day to day, doing my own little thing and not paying much attention to whats going on around. So one day I come home from work and start heading down the steps to my apartment. To my surprise theres a stack of magazines next to my door. So, being the nice person I am... I take it. whee

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I think to myself, "wow, that was weird..." and forget all about it in a few days. Well about a week later, I'm heading downstairs and:

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*gasp!* The porn fairy has struck again! surprised

Wow, this time they even bagged it! Once is a coincidence but twice? That's just a little bit suspicious. confused Now I might be scared if this was all "weird" things like leather and stuff. However it wasn't.

And after anaylizing the situation I have come to a few different conclusions:

1. This is actually some porn joke and I'm supposed to pass it on
2. They think that because they don't see girls constantly coming into my apartment they think they need to buy me porn to keep sane...
3. They really aren't leaving it for me but for someone else and I keep taking it.

Either way, I don't care! xp

Can't knock it if it's free!

*I just keep a bat by the door in case it was a big dude and he decided it wasn't for me wink *

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