I have lost now the two most important people in my life of all time. My best friend and I aren't friends anymore. My boyfriend the one who's the love of my life have been broken up for almost three weeks. -sighs- and i don't think either will accept me back as what we all use to be.
He's still my friend but it's soo confusing because one minute when i'm near him, like in the same city he pretty much wants me type of thing. and then whe I am at home and talking to him.. it's just like he wants me to go away.. like I'm some annoyance. He really had hurt my feelings on Valentines day. I wasn't expecting him to ask me to be his Valentine or that we get back together.. or even hear him tell me he loved me..
Just a simple " I hope you had a Happy Valentines Day too" thats all I wanted when I said it again before we left.. twice.. and neither time he said it back. Common curtsy number one.. and it would have ment alot to hear that from him... I didn't even expect him to kiss me back, just the Happy valentines day... -sighs once again- and my friend is pissed off and annoyed with me so she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore at this piticular time and knowing her..
she won't accept me back... Funny thing is even though I've said it to here we aren't friends or maybe we shouldn't be it was because I was pissed off annoyed and or hurt by her. But I always came back an hour later or the next day depending on the time and how long it takes me to see straight agian.. to tell her I'm really sorry, and even that i regret ever saying it.. however this time with either.. there's nothing I can do to have either of them back into my lives.
I have a small group of people who are really special and preciouse to me. It's just that my best freind and love rank top over all because. He's my true love and she's been my best friend all our lives. And you honestly never really find that, other wise it's down right rare.... and I some how screwed up more then just real big time.. cause I've lost both...
A person doesn't have to be cold and in the ground to be truely dead. They can still be living and and lost the most preciouse person (in my case two) and still be truely dead inside.. an empty shell walking around living until their actual life expires. While everything else about then is dieing off or dead.
Caileen and Skygee.. <3 Love you two always<3
 Rikku42 · Sat Feb 17, 2007 @ 12:39am · 2 Comments |
