Sometimes your heart breaks and you're not sure why. At times it cracks, falters and fails because you couldn't see the signs.
Ofcourse, the smart thing to do would be to simply step away, slip back into obscurity away from everything around you. Give your heart time to heal and hopefully, maybe, you'll be able to get back to yourself. Wear that mask you show the world and go on your way.
But sometimes the broken and shattered peices of your heart are never put back together. Because you won't allow them to be. And that thing that broke your heart in the first place sucks on them. It inhales the shards until no matter what you do you can't move on, because your hearts been left behind in the "what could've been".
This entrapment stifles you, soaks into your bones and send cramps through your body. The chest, your chest heaves and wheezes and the pain makes you double over. It seems as if everything is slowly closing around that part where you heart used to be, replacing something that's special with a vacuum. Sucking in everything until you feel cold and empty, just a shell of what you used to be.
And still you're trapped, because everything you do now will have some connection to that one thing that broke your heart. You think you can't really go on without it. Sure, you can coast by, smile and try to leave it behind, but in the end it all relates back to what broke your heart.
You don't shed a tear though, do you? No, not on the outside. You carve a painful smile on your face and adopt that bitter sarcasm that becomes your wall. The world dosen't need to see your tears.
After all, you're nothing but a shell. There's plenty of room for the tears inside.
I think the worst thing though is that you asked me to help you. I appreiciate that you are this honest with me, that you have this confidence in me, but I can't help. I don't have the answers. After all, if I did, you wouldn't be where I am now.
If you find the way out, please do let me know. I'm afraid there's no more room for my tears.
 GoldenKitsune · Thu Feb 24, 2005 @ 04:53am · 2 Comments |
