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Boys, Band, and Books, the Life and Times of a Teenage Band Nerd
What happens during the day (because I will never post on the internet what happens at night)
Ranting... again...
*Flops down on the computer chair, sending it sliding into the nearby ironing board* CRASH

...

*Slowly scoots back to keyboard*

Someone kill me please, or at least kill band, it's sucking up most of my life anyway. I crashed my car, (well, not really crashed, but it had to be taken into the shop) my grades are teetering, and Mr. Dunn is demanding MORE time and effort on my part. I still have to check of my music (which, I assure you, I SO cannot play) that was due last week... my legs hurt, I need to wash my mouthpeice, do the laundry, clean my room, do my homework (did i mention i had a book report due yesterday for a book i have yet to read???) and *gasp* actually find time to eat something.

Someone kill me, or at least slap me for taking so many hard classes at once. Few- I don't even have time to read a book of my own choosing, much less play on the computer, so I'm afraid it might be abandoned for *sob* a few weeks.

I'm happy if I get six hours of sleep and I'm so dead on the weekends that going out and having fun is like a hazy dream that you try to remember after you woke up.

And boys still suck, but that's not surprising.

I doubt I'm going to go to homecoming, just because I don't have anybody to go with other than (maybe) a couple friends.

Good news... good news... Ah yes, I got the order form for my class ring today!... well, that's not really good news (the cheapest one is about $170 i think) but still...

Annoying thing that happened today- I normally wear guys clothes (particularly jeans) just because they fit better and because everyone but Old Navy believes that every girl over 5'9" should have to walk around naked until they decide to shrink. Well, I had just changed my shirt from band and I was walking out of the girl's bathroom when one of these two black guys (no, I'm not being racist- this is just how the stereotypical ones act) said, "Eh, she looks like a guy!"

Normally, I reason myself out of being embaressed ("Do I really care what they says when I don't respect or admire them in any way?" wink but it just made me self-conscious enough that it planted a tiny seed of discomfort in my mind. Yes, I weigh more than the average stick, and I'm taller than the average giggling air-head, but they could have had just a LITTLE bit of tact.

I know I shouldn't worry about it- I don't worry about making myself look "girly" until after marching season is over after all, but it just bothered me. Did they think that I was a guy trying to sneak into the girl's bathroom or something?

Besides, I'm one of the girl's who doesn't need a stall to change (because I'm not taking off my bra and we're all girls anyway) so I know for a fact that there are girl that can testify as to my gender.

It's not the first time it's happened either, as I seem to recall a vague memory of something that happened in elementary, but the kids there are a little bit worse than the ones at highschool anyway.

OH- I forgot to mention that I ignored them and acted like I didn't hear them and walked away. If I had stopped and talked to them, they would have known that they had hit a nerve anyway.

It was also kinda bothersome because, to me, I look very obviously like a girl. Maybe it's just me, but I think you don't have to wear short skirts and a slutty attitude to be feminine. But again, that's just me.

One more thing- girl's pants suck for marching because they're so damn tight and make your crotch sweat to a very gross extent. So, the guy's pants really do have a useful quality- VENTILATION.

Anyways, that's my summary of the past five days.

Melanie, if you counsel me any more I'm going to have to start paying you per post. wink






User Comments: [2] [add]
gallows humour
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Tue Sep 19, 2006 @ 05:49am
I think you already know that I wear men's pants, for the exact same reasons! They do fit better. Women's fashion in general is just for making you into a sex object. And clearly, you don't want to be a sex object. This s**t happens to everyone! Everyone! Everyone! Everyone! Really, I mean it. Pinky swear... well, some cheerleaders may have an exception. But really, who cares about them? Trust me, they have their own problems! Okay, so I feel the same way you do. I'm of above average weight too. However, I'm more muscular than most girls. You are taller than most girls. Also, I suspect you too are more muscular, because you have gone through that band crap. Oh you know what? I once owned a pair of women's pants that were bright pink, and made of plastic! They were so unpleasant to wear. Yes, it was successfull at making me into a sex object, but it attracts the wrong kind of guys! Also... it stunk so bad inside! You couldn't wash them! You couldn't dry clean them! What were you supposed to do? I still don't get it! Eventually, they ripped... you know... in the classic, embarrassing, SpongeBob place. So, women's fashion is stupid. Alright, that aside, let's talk about your life. It's clear that you need to re-evaluate what's important to you. What college are you trying to get into? Go through each class you're taking, mentally. Ask yourself: "Do I need this class for my highschool diploma?" "Will this help me in college?" "How much will this help me in college?" "What am I planning on majoring in?" "Does this give me college credit?" "Do I enjoy this class?" "How much work does this class require?" "Does this class significantly affect my quality of life?" and finally "Is this class worth it?" Now, it's time to do some schedule pruning. If you can't get the period off, shoot for classes with Couch and Beckham. Those are de facto free periods. Highschool diplomas are pretty worthless anyway. Love ya, Nie


commentCommented on: Tue Sep 19, 2006 @ 06:16am
It's totally stupid -- the ideas of what is how girls should act and that there even should be a way for girls to act or look or whatever. The idea that you would look better if you looked more "like a girl" -- I don't know where that comes from. It's like, there are two good ways to look: like a boy, and like a girl. And boy and girl looks have already been defined. So if you want to look "good", then you have to pick one, and most people can only pull off one of them. I don't think I can pull off either one, and I really don't ******** care to. I go with what looks good to ME. I dress to please myself, and, while it may not be socially accepted, there will probably be some people who will like you for your choices. The more independent your thought is, the less likely it is that you'll find someone.

I'm thinking independent thinking is just disregarding the things society has already come up with. Since there are so many ways to look that are all equally good in function, it's just a matter of trying different things, just because you can, just to see what it's like, because you have to do SOMETHING, and maybe you do have a desire to be different, almost like making your own society. Other people will tend to reject it, though I don't understand why.

Yeah, maybe it is trying to be different, because you see yourself as separate from the other people who all act the same. They're them, and your you, why should you conform to "them". You feel different.. so ..

Anyway. Practically speaking, people are stupid, and they are going to hurt you and you just have to deal with it. Sucks.

But know that in being yourself, you are affecting change. People accept what they are used to, so, if you stay around long enough, they'll get used to you.



Prince Rilian
Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
 
 
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