I'm not second best to her after all. He tells me she is in the past and I'm what he has now and he loves me. He tells me that I'm his for this life.
I love to hear that from him, but part of me is still afraid. Somone else told me that only to break my heart. i don't think he will do that, but I thought the same about the other as well.
I'm reluctant to use my magic to find out what the truth is. Last night was the full moon, but I was babysitting and didn't have my cards with me. Now the moon is waning, so I need to focus on banishing my fears and planting the seeds for clear sight. I need to let my mind instruct me, not my wounded heart.
I don't know what to think; I've dreamed of him for so long, before I even knew his name or his face, and now I don't know if I can trust him.
I do, whether or not I like it, i do trust him, and I know he trusts me, for he has the same fears. I swore to him that I would never hurt him the way we had both been hurt before. I don't make promises I can't keep.
I feel guilty as well for fighting with his brother. I could've stopped it, but I let him get to me. We made amends yesterday, sort of, or i at least let him know that I forgive him for what he did and my part was mostly retaliation. We got it figured out, so now he knows to keep certain words out of his vocabulary while talking to me or joking around. I know the same for him now as well.