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I feel the need to vent, because just meditating on it ain't cutting it no more. What to say? I'll be blunt and state how I feel, for starters. Yes, I am still sad, but the initial pain is gone, it'll only sting after a while. Does that mean I've let go? No. There has only been one time I have cared for someone so very strongly, and I couldn't imagine letting it slip away, just like that. It's not in me. Yes, I am a stubborn, never giving up hope shrew, when it comes to something like this, I don't really ever give up hope if I know it will pay off in the end. Is it foolish to feel this way? I don't know, but if it is, someone's going to have to spell it out for me, because I am just that basic.

Basically, and I'm going to state this so that it will be obvious, even to me when I read this again later, I can and am going to wait as long as I have to, because I still care and still value what we had, unless he tells me himself that it's gone. Even then I will be sad, but you know what they say, if you really love a person, you'll want them to be happy. And I do. I guess I'm done for the most part there, the only thing I could add would be mushy things, and until something's finalized, I won't do it, I couldn't, I don't want to be anymore distracting. Know what I mean? I cannot say how much though, I want to say I love you. It was on the tip of my tongue when I said goodnight. Yes I am a big clingy sap, but I can't help it.

Well anyways, now for a bit of randomness. What I posted below...I have no idea what it is. sweatdrop It came from when I was feeling poetic, but it does not rhyme. xd I'm not a poet, just want to clear that up right now. I'm also a bit over dramatic, if you can't already tell from the above post, but hey, that's what you get when you read too many novels and watch too much tv. whee

When you graced me with your presence, I felt like a bud
Whose day had come at last, to burst forward and bloom
To glow with all that was in me, with all that you had given me

No day would ever be the same, but you were always up for trying
And as each day passed, I stayed the same, and yet not,
I was still blooming, but some of my radiance had gone
It didn’t matter though; you cared for me the same

Then came the fatal blow, we were gone from each other
I felt like I had been cut short of the very source that gave me life
And so, something in me snapped and died
Yet I still live

Now I wither, every day loosing petals, but not gone from this world yet
I’ve never been the one to go peacefully, but for you, I’d consider
Until you can say though, I’ll be here waiting, oblivious
Too busy treasuring the memories that give me hope and keep me alive