I am not well.
For the past few weeks now, I have been feeling ill at ease- pained, aching and full of worry. Tonight these feelings have risen to a crechendo, and I find myself unable to think coherently, to move from my chair, or to sleep for fear that death will take me as I slumber.
Oh to be stupid and without human emotion. No other beasts suffer as we do from these illusions of the mind. But gods, they feel so real, journal. No, there is nothing illusional about this fear... this horrible consuming fear gnawing at my mind, and giving me no peace. The thought of never being able to live and grow fat and old with someone I love, of leaving this world slowly, painfully as the faces around me shake with pity. My panic only fuels the aches and pains driving me to this state of madness, and the cycle goes on and on. I am terrified. I don't want to die.
(this was actually written about a week ago. i still feel crappy though -.-)