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In memory of someone who's just left, and I doubt I'll ever see again:

Stare up at the blue April sky, that's what I've been doing for the last hour. I'm not the kind of person who does this, but today, I just felt like something needed to change, you know? Kinda like I needed to break with the mold or something.
I feel disgusted too; dunno if it was my breakfast, which I ended up giving to my dog, or something else, but I've been enduring some of the most sickening nausea I've ever come down with. It's like I want to throw up, all the time, but I just don't. Perhaps the most disgusting part of it is no one will help me take it away... "Probably parasites... or the computer" my dad would definitely say. But hey, I'm not gonna b***h on about how my family can be so lame at times, that's what shrinks and drunken rants are for.

'Cause loving at a time like this is,
for me,
Like breathing when there's no air.
All I really wanted was some hope
yet now I'm raving madly in despair.

It's hard to love life when
the people who surround you,
self-bound imbeciles in majority,
will infect you with disgust,
Turn your love to lust,
Turn all words to dust.

Now, reader; I ask you: What.
If man is nor good or evil, then he is what?
A blind old man, screaming in the rain;
Ears bleeding; no one to hear.
A tearful shadow, fearing the end.