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The life in a hyper, gay college student. ZOMG.

Just miscellaneous things about my day, I guess?

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Well. This is it. Derek...didn't make it. Thankfully, he didn't go into a coma like the doctor's had predicted, but even with the oxygen and everything the hospital was trying to do for him, he just didn't pull through. He died painfully, but surrounded by his family and friends. He couldn't speak in his last couple of hours, but he tried to smile. It was heartbreaking. Even at the point of death, he's not thinking about himself, he's thinking of others. I read the 'Featured Gaian' page where a lot of his friends had commented about him...Thank you so much, guys. Yeah, it made me cry, but it's just so nice to know how much he's made a difference in other people's lives, y'know? God, I'm bawling like a baby here. >_<;; I don't know what to say. All I know is that now I have no idea how the hell I'm gonna be able to go on without Derek. I may or may not be back on here. Right now, it's just so painful. Eventually though, I'll come back on, when it doesn't hurt so much. Maybe then I can get to know all of Derek's friends too. And instead of making me cry, it'll make me smile. Someday. I'm not staying here. I'm thinking of going somewhere, England maybe, or Japan. I'm not sure where. It's just painful to be around here; all his stuff is still intact. I'll come back here, though. I just need time to be alone and think about all this. I'm just feeling so helpless right now. Derry's mom wants to go through his stuff tonight. He didn't leave a will or anything, that's just the way he is. Or was. I don't even know how to refer to him anymore. She's really adamant that we don't just pack him up and shove him in the attic, though. Eh, tensions are running really high here.>.o; It's horrible. Everything's horrible. Thanks for everything, guys. <3 I might not be back on for a while, but I'll stay on for just a bit longer today. It means so much to me, everything you've said about Derek, and all your support. I love you, my Derry. "I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason. So much of me is made of what I learned from you. You'll be with me like a handprint on my heart. Because I knew you, I have been changed for good."

Posted by: Jounou Tue Jul 11, 2006 @ 04:51pm

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Your_NewLunarDoll
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Commented on: Tue Jul 11, 2006 @ 05:13pm


	No words for the pain in my heart, or the one that must be in yours. He is always a thought that sits in my brain, and the idea that has helped me in my life, because I suppose that's what gaia is, ideas, and the idea he has given me, about my life, and about hope, and about being better than where I came from, will never be a "was".

Commented on: Tue Jul 11, 2006 @ 05:22pm


	-hugs and holds Jimmy-

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muted tsunami
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Commented on: Tue Jul 11, 2006 @ 05:30pm


	hugs I hope you'll be alright Jimmy. And please come back, we'd all love to get to know you better n_n. I don't really know what to say.. I kind of suck at things like that, but you can always rant at me or something if it'll make you feel better... I don't know if you'll take my offer seriously, but I mean it. All the best <3 Noky

Commented on: Tue Jul 11, 2006 @ 05:52pm


	Sadly, I have no idea what to say. I just hope he's at peace.

Zelkiiro
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Azildin
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Commented on: Tue Jul 11, 2006 @ 05:58pm


	Even though he has died, he is not gone. Every time you close your eyes and remember the times he made you smile and laugh, he is there with you remembering too. He will be with you through tough times and your best moments. Always and Forever.

Commented on: Tue Jul 11, 2006 @ 06:02pm


	My love goes out to you. Your heart will heal with time and patience. Just remember, eventhough he's not with you in person, he'll always be with you in spirit. You just need to call on him and he'll be there. My sympathies, Tsuzuki-san and her son, Aiden.

Fenris Wolfbane
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Kaze Master of Wind
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Commented on: Tue Jul 11, 2006 @ 06:14pm


	Good bye... Rest in peace, buddy. My sympathies, Kaze the Wind Spirit

Commented on: Tue Jul 11, 2006 @ 06:37pm


	My heart goes out to everyone. To Derek, Jimmy, his family and friends and to all of us at Gaia. We'll miss you Derek.

Kitty-Cato
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Zorbo Red
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Commented on: Tue Jul 11, 2006 @ 07:06pm


	We will all remember him as the fun, loving, goofball he was. And we will remember you, Jimmy. You were so good to each other. And you blessed each others lives. Thank you for keeping us posted, even though it was painful, and even more painful. Just remember you still have a family here if you ever need a little something extra. <3

Commented on: Tue Jul 11, 2006 @ 07:43pm


	No...No...this can't happen. I don't even know what to say. He was so kind and welcoming. He made everyone feel like they were worth a million dollars even when they felt like crap. We'll all work through this, though. He will live on inside us all.

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Vince Online
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Commented on: Tue Jul 11, 2006 @ 08:02pm


	Now I'm not good with death so I'll leave it at this. God bless his soul.

Commented on: Tue Jul 11, 2006 @ 08:03pm


	My deepest sympathy to you and those around you! I can't imagine what your going through I really can't! Those words you put at the end hit me more than anything else. I hope I find someone that makes me feel like that and when I do I'll enjoy every moment I am with them cause I don't know when it will end. He was so special to you and I'm sure you were to him too! You'll get through this I'm sure! Pippin x

Its.Me.Pippin!
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devyn-m
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Commented on: Tue Jul 11, 2006 @ 08:45pm


	Please take car eof yourself. My heart goes out to you and all the family. You have been an angel through all of this.

Commented on: Tue Jul 11, 2006 @ 08:48pm


	I'm not even sure how to react to this. Because, it's really wierd . . . when someone dies. I mean, you expect them to be there and stuff, and when they're not . . . you don't know what to do. I don't know what I do. I guess I want you to know that we're all here to support you and that if you need anything, then we are here. hugs Take care....

Kanshisha no Yume
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AprilSky
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Commented on: Tue Jul 11, 2006 @ 08:56pm


	I may not have known Derek that well, but to tell you the truth Jimmy... He was a good friend to people he didn't even know that well on Gaia. He's touched my life just by being apart of the Word Games on Gaia. He was always funny. Though, like I said, I wasn't on Gaia much to know him that well... I can truly say I'll miss him because he wasn't on nobody. He was a somebody here, someone who changed people by talking to them. Just talking. Even as I write this I can't help but cry... I'm sorry for your loss Jimmy. Everyone who has known him will never forget him, and we'll be here if you need support.

Commented on: Tue Jul 11, 2006 @ 09:00pm


	I'm bawling, I can't believe it. I don't want to believe it... but the pain in my heart is here, as it is in yours and everyone else's. He's still here with us, in our hearts. Rest in Peace, Buddy. I miss him so much, and I give you my best for the future. Stay in touch, okay? Fond Regards, Shriekie (Phoebe Houston)

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DarkmoonTUNA
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Commented on: Tue Jul 11, 2006 @ 09:04pm


	Hang in there Jimmy. Derek was a great guy and i know its really hard to lose someone so close to you. I know that all his friends and I will be here for you if you need someone to talk to.

Commented on: Tue Jul 11, 2006 @ 09:31pm


	crying crying heart

Nya-chan
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[ Screechie Weasel ]
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Commented on: Tue Jul 11, 2006 @ 10:39pm


	I just started to breathe again. Why Derek, why does horrible things happen to such good people. Well, he lived a good life from what I've heard. And even if he is , he will always remain with us. In some part of our heart. -Hugs Jimmy- xoxox Sophi...<33

Commented on: Tue Jul 11, 2006 @ 11:53pm


	I never knew either of you, but death hits all of us..no matter who it is. We all feel the pain. We are all connected. I wish you the best luck in your endeavors. Please, do not stay in this state. I know your lover wouldnt want it that way. Remember him the way he was, not what he is. Keep in mind that all the memories of his life should always be treasured, not put away and hidden. I hope the best for you and his family. Just remember, the dead are never dead unless they are forgotten. <3 -Tina/Alaeria.

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.Some.Other.Mercy.
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Commented on: Wed Jul 12, 2006 @ 12:10am


	I'll be honest. I totally didn't think it would happen. He's just been so strong that for some reason, I thought he'd pull through, like some random miracle that only happens on TV would happen for him since he's really that good of a person and since he totally deserves it, and since life is beautiful and bad things never happen. It was entirely innocent, and entirely childish and ridiculous...but I prayed it would happen for him since he totally changed my world in a matter of words. I'm all tears right now, and I wish I could be there for you Jimmy. I really do. I know nothing I say will console you. I know anything I say sounds kinda silly since I've never met you, but nonetheless, you and Derek had a huge impact on my relationship with my bf, and he knows all about you guys despite the fact that he doesn't do the whole Gaia thing. Both of us are feeling for you both. <3 all my love, Lucas

Commented on: Wed Jul 12, 2006 @ 07:34am


	He's in no pain no more, and he will be with you forever. There isn't much else that can be said, some people are simply too amazing for this lifetime. Jimmy we are all here for you. heart

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Crusty Boogers
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Commented on: Wed Jul 12, 2006 @ 09:08pm


	I'm so sorry... I wish I could have known Derek and you better. He's probably one of my most favorite people on Gaia, and to hear about this loss really hurts. My prayers are with you, Jimmy. heart Naoko Asakura (Hattie Godfrey)

Commented on: Wed Jul 12, 2006 @ 11:21pm


	This really sucks. I'm so sorry for your loss. Derek was awesome and so nice, even though we didn't really get a chance to get to know each other well before he went to the hospital the first time a few months ago. He will be missed. cry heart

WinterSun
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I Am Kirin Rosenbaum
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Commented on: Fri Jul 14, 2006 @ 03:43am


	I just read this. Really wish I had gotten it sooner. Jimmy know you are in my prayers. I just wish I knew hos to contact you.

Commented on: Sat Jul 15, 2006 @ 08:45pm


	Thank you, Jimmy. I appreciate you telling us this more than you know. I am so sorry, sweetheart; Derek was an incredibly special person, and I will miss him greatly. I know all of us who knew him will miss him. Please, take care of yourself. I know I don't know you, other than the couple updates you've given us, but I would like to get to know you, if you ever decide to come have a chat. Again, I'm so sorry. At least he's not in pain anymore, and I'm sure he knows how much we all love him.

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E c l i p s e l y
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Commented on: Sun Jul 16, 2006 @ 04:06pm


	Omg... i just read it on Simons profile and went here to tell you jimmy that my thoughtsare with you and dereks fam. as well.... It's really great that you told us that derek won't come back... i'll hope you get through with it by the time,he'll always be in your heart... If you want to remember,never think of the last days,just think of the good time you had with him,you have to move on,for jimmy,he would have wanted you to do like that ... chin up buddy even if it's hard wink sweatdrop ... I wish you all the best hugs Jimmy Emily

Commented on: Wed Aug 02, 2006 @ 01:12pm


	I was just reading through my own journal, and the comments he made on it. Sometimes, he was the only one ): and those were often the entries that really showed how much my heart was hurting. Today I miss him.

Your_NewLunarDoll
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Uzi IV
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Commented on: Sun Dec 09, 2007 @ 09:41pm


	omg rest in peace your not in pain anymore

Commented on: Mon Jan 14, 2008 @ 02:02pm


	hi im new to the ggbbg and i have read about derek it has touched me like nothing ever has. i know that i do not know him but i still feel like i should voice about how i feel. well where ever he is i know he will be just as happy as he was here with us. and im sry if i am a little late -nick 1/14/08 R.I.P Derek heart

naruto of konoha15
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Up For Ransom
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Commented on: Sun Feb 10, 2008 @ 05:38am


	I miss you, like the rest of everyone who has commented. I never really knew you, but I wish I could have gotten to know you more. I hope your peaceful in Heaven. Rest in Peace. <3

Commented on: Fri Jul 18, 2008 @ 03:29am


	I didn't even know him and still everytime I read this I cry. R.I.P. Derek hang in there Jimmy

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Essence of Divinity
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Commented on: Sun Jul 20, 2008 @ 08:42am


	Every time I read this, Every time, I burst into tears. Derek seemed like the kind of guy who could be my best friend. And the love you shared was so true... Oh god, I am crying again. Rest in peace Derek. <3

Commented on: Mon Mar 30, 2009 @ 12:17am


	I know i'm about 3 years late, but i'm using the last 1% of power on my laptop to write this. You were an inspiration, Derek, and you've inspired me to live life to its fullest.

Twisted Euphoria
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