Salem J Renault

For what it's worth, I am sorry. I do not expect you, any of you, to understand my existence.
I don't even understand it, not because I can't understand it but because I chose to.
Honestly? It does me pretty well to brush over all the traumatic experiences,
all the abuse, all the pain; To be entirely disconnected from it all is comforting.
This is why I refuse to acknowledge my Dissociative Identities are a problem.
They're their own people, they have lives, they have friends, they live and breathe
just like any one of us living creatures.

You're unhealthy, all of you. You need help, individually. You need to learn to let
go, you need to learn to move on. This is saying a lot coming from those that
don't want to move on or let go of life changing problems. If you're so insistent
on ruining my life then I can't help it, I probably deserve it, which is fine. I'll keep
moving forward until I decide otherwise. I won't say 'you can't make it worse' because
knowing the crowd that I am still involved with; y'all can get creative.

But you know, maybe it'll be my conviction for letting someone important to me die.
Maybe because of any pain I've caused over the years,
Maybe my own selfish, self preservative nature.

Who knows anymore.

All I want is a quiet life. It's all I can wish for anymore but you know wishes
don't come true, especially if you speak them out loud. The world works in
mysterious ways however. I don't have high hopes. If everyone I expect to read
this does in fact read this then please don't involve yourself with me anymore.
This isn't a threat, this isn't me telling you to, this is me asking you with
whatever little bit of self preservation I have left.

Though, while I expect to see/hear/witness most of you soon enough in one form or the other,
I do hope that for once, I'm wrong about this feeling that I have.
In one final attempt to live my life for once.