May 31, 2020
So I've decided to come back to AZ and stay till probably next year, ride out 2020's bullshit. I don't like it, I don't want to stay but I know it's the right decision. I guess I'll just have to deal.
A few nights ago I dreamed my dad was dead. I mean he is dead but it's the first time he's been dead in a dream. I hate it, I feel like he's gone cause he's disappointed. It's stupid. I don't even know if I believe in an afterlife but somehow I feel it. Maybe it's my own guilt manifesting into this feeling. I don't ******** know, despite finding some answers in life and despite growing as a person over the last couple years somehow I feel more lost. I feel like a paper plane drifting downward, I've learned so much, gained so much but no matter what I do i can't climb back into the air, I can only fall more slowly.
I wasn't planning on this turning into a self pity rant but here we are. Thanks for watching. Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe to watch me keep circling the drain.
all_winters_eve · Mon Jun 01, 2020 @ 06:02am · 0 Comments |