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. Valentine's Journal .
. . . . . .

Truth be told , I don't want to write this.
But I feel that IF I didn't , I would forget again.

Note to self :

You've been feeling like absolute trash recently. More than usual.
And although your normal failures are a given that only you know ,
YOU KNOW the issue to your current plaguing thoughts.

You don't know who she is.
And furthermore , you don't even know if she's real or not.
And yet your planing on drawing her ? YOU KNOW your art is crap,
why ruin that image you have in your mind with your stain of ink ?

Because it plagues your dreams now, and as much as it awes you, its frightening.

....and then you dream of that damn old house again, don't you?

....Note to self , you need to remember more about that ******** house.
Ever sense you wrote about it a while back , it's been on your mind , and you
need to get it out of your system or you'll just keep forgetting till you don't
forget anymore and when you don't forget anymore you'll just keep feeling this
feeling till you ******** remember ANYTHING more about that place and
******** that person was.


And... now I'm talking to myself , not just out loud or in my head , but as i write.


******** great.


I'm going to visit what remains there tomorrow.
It's the only way I can think of that would allow me to remember faster.
And , of course , with Wed. and Sun. being my easier work days, I can
manage getting to that place before 9AM , at worst .

I wish I lived in colder places.


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