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i think i have determined that the rainy season makes my head wonky.
like - i feel extra tired and mentally have to try hard to focus.
it's a kind of mental fog.
when the rain clears up, my head does too.

it's stupid.

and it gives me some anxiety because i always second guess myself. like. what if i have high or low blood sugar? what if my hormones are whack again? what if it's this or that?

but since sitting still or laying down for a bit helps - i think it's just fatigue associated with my myalgia. may even been a kind of silent headache.

the stress of not feeling 100% makes it worse.

and the "what if"s really make it worse.

oh plus - (and i told my niece this today, because she too experiences this) being tired makes me emotional and dramatic.

we aren't having rain til the weekend, so i'll be good for a couple days.


but oh oh oh!

i got an email today that they accepted my application and wanted to schedule an interview. biggrin

it's for a teaching job in Korea.

i hope it works out. i need to get back to working and working toward something that i enjoy.
just the feeling of having the application accepted makes me feel - better. valuable. seen.

i was worried there was something wrong. like maybe someone had given me a bad review from one of my old schools. or who knows. (my previous application was rejected. and their policy is that they do not give reasons. you're just left wondering.)

anyway