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Now.. so many things have happened...

I have been trying to find a place to write the things I feel. Some place Isolated form all that is my life now.

As absurd as it sounds, I'm using this journal...

My last post was 11 years ago... I bet some gaia users are 11.. so that's weird A.F.

Who would have tought that the whole (or little remainder of) supports in the country I was born, the country I lived and loved in, were destroyed like this.

If you are reading this, trust no goverment, trust noone but yourself. Don't let anyone make choices for you. Go outside and speak your voice. It's unique and priceless.

Also, everybody in this world wants something, and if you there have it, they will somehow try to get it from you. Identify and take care of what is precious for you, and protect it form people who can't appreciate it.

Now, I live in this country.. so strange to me, filled with people I don't really like, but am forced to share roof, street, culture with. Some of them are nice, but most are... just something else I wasn't used nor prepared to.

I should have struggled to move to the US 10 years ago, instead of wasting my time writing journals here.. Only if I had known what was to come to us...

But crisis woke me up, hunger made me go and look for an extra income.. And finally I left my job in a super company to.. migrate.. to start over.

Now, one year and 2 months after leaving, I miss my country so much. The everlasting hot sunny weather, the heavy tropical storms, the short walks thru the mall, visiting my family, getting married, going to the beach.. I miss my paradise lost.

I also miss my wife.. after practically abandonng her.. leaving her alone... She should have stayed with me when she came... we should have fought toghether here ..But I understand her leaving, I understand she couldn't take the pressure of being away, no family, no friends, surrounded by.. different people. I am so sorry about all this... and I am sure I'm not in the slightest pain in comparison to most Venezuelans. I feel their pain as mine.

But I bask in loneliness. I have never stopped doing so. It's my curse, and it will ever be.

I miss all the old firends (and lovers) I left here. If you ever read this, yes, I sincerely, honestly loved you all. With all my heart and what it was left of it.. All I did I was genuine about, and today I feel, more than ever, that I abandoned all that was precious to me.


It is so weird, after all this, I havent felt desire to listen to music as I used to.. it's like something, a 90% of me is missing.

I'm ready to advice you all, please don't shut up about what you feel today.

Live your only life.

Community Member
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