A sensitive topic and until now, one I kept very private. I’ve finally begun to talk about it with family and friends. This sharing has opened the avenue I needed towards acceptance. In the end, it’s about how I actively manage and work my feelings versus avoiding sympathy, pity and sadness. It must be faced, especially now.
I became infertile as the result of receiving cancer treatments between the ages of 19 and 22. It’s an unfair hand dealt, but it’s the reality. I’ve read about and spoken to other women who are infertile due to varying issues. It seems a common theme to feel inadequate or “damaged”. Although understandable, this is not the case for me. I realize we are more than mere vessels to carry and birth children and the inability to become pregnant does not define our value.
I see parents every day disregard and neglect their children, forgetting every wrong done now will have an emotional repercussion later. The idea of leading by example is lost on many. It’s frustrating to see such inadequate parents conceive so easily, but does no good to dwell on the thought process.
I understand my feelings may wax and wane over time, but right now I’m okay. I do not like the direction our country and the world are headed. To be honest, not sure I would want to raise children in such a toxic age.
In short, I’m finding a degree of peace regarding my infertility. For any of you who have the same issue, remember you are enough. There’s so much more to be achieved in life.